Ashes to Ashes

Stage: 

  • Design

Development Progress: 

100

Claim Type: 

Faction: 

Area: 

Description

Dialogue

 

Quest Giver
High level quest NPC in Almas Thirr temple (see parent claim)

Type of Quest
Delivery Quest

Reward
Gold
Temple Faction Reputation
Reputation (?, perhaps if Gold is refused)

Short Summary
Deliver the ashes of a dead family to Necrom.

Prerequisites
Temple Faction rank of (?)
(Reputation?)
Dagoth Ur must be alive

Assets Involved
2-3 NPCs with unique dialogue
1-2 cells with unique dialogue
1 item (urn/ashes)
 

  1. The PC is approached in a town by a given NPC which already exists in a given location. The NPC should have additional spawns in entrance locations (bridges/docks or similar) and a force greeting when conditions are met.
  2. The NPC is asked to collect and deliver the ashes of an entire family (of which the NPC is the last living member) to Necrom so it can strengthen the Great Ghostfence. The family is notable for having largely died in the Arnesian War to Argonians skirmishers. The NPC is too old to go all the way themselves and the PC has accrued sufficient reputation to be trusted enough to do it.
  3. Since the NPC themselves know they are going to die very soon, the PC is asked to wait until they pass on. This is to be timed for 2 weeks, after which the PC gets a journal entry suggeting to check on the NPC.
  4. When inquiring in the town, the PC is informed that the NPC is dead and that their ashes have been intombed with their family in the local temple.
  5. The PC approaches a given Temple Faction member in the local temple, who had been informed of the last wishes of the NPC and hands over the urn. Alternatively, the PC might just collect the named urn without talking to anybody.
  6. If taking the urn without having talked to a Temple member, perhaps a battle involving an irate ancestor who doesn't want to leave their familiar town/is extremely unhappy about having to strengthen the Ghostgate instead of doling out advice happens.
  7. The PC travels to Necrom and delivers the urn to a contact in the Catacombs.
  8. The PC receives a gold and Temple Faction Reputation reward.
Relationships

Comments

I think this is far better

Terrifying Daedric Foe's picture

I think this is far better suited to being a Temple faction quest rather than a misc. quest. Carrying ancestral ashes to Necrom is a very sacred and important task that the old mer would have entrusted to the local priest to organise.
Edit: It is tagged as Temple, but the set-up seems much more misc-y. The questgiver should be the local priest. It'd be nice to tie the journey to Necrom to a pilgrimage as well. Perhaps stop by some sacred place where one of the ancestors was involved thousands of years earlier.

Yes, also, gold Gold rewards

Rot's picture

Yes, also,

gold

Gold rewards should be avoided for the Temple,

An NPC in Ghostgate of Temple Faction rank ("faras thirano"?)

This must b a mistake or leftover, rather a NPC in Necrom?

Prerequisites
Dagoth Ur must be alive

Is Necrom supposed to close up shop after the main quest? That wasn't its initial concept, though the direct link to the Great Ghostfence wasn't either

 

especially if this person is the last of their family and there is no-one to take care of their ancestral tomb/pit in the temple anyway it would still make sense to send them to the catacombs, the state of the Dagoth Ur story would be better reflected in variants/changes in dialogue than by blocking the quest
 

I can claim this as a Quest

-MrWillis-'s picture

I can claim this as a Quest Dialogue Writer, if need be.

Please send coffee and energy drinks to fuel my writing addiction.

Thank you in advance, sera!

Ash-to-Ashes   (Note:

-MrWillis-'s picture

Ash-to-Ashes

 

Willing to take some critiques as this is a rough draft as the quest in the current state is kind of....vaguness in its depth. I add the fact that the old man has children, just have not taken care of him. I can easily tear that out, alongside the biography as that might come off as sappy.  And looking at the previous conversation above me it seems I might have to unless I want to make the children skooma addicts or somewhere else in the world.

Please send coffee and energy drinks to fuel my writing addiction.

Thank you in advance, sera!

Critiques in no particular

Kevaar's picture

Critiques in no particular order:

--Being told to go to a town and track down the NPC seems a little odd. Most questgivers in vanilla send you directly to the place, and the journal updates upon the player talking to the next NPC. I would take this part out.

--I like the twist that the guy actually does have children, but I would add to this. Are they off being skooma heads? Decided to join another House and so betray their clan? Exiled for violating some obscure code of Indoril honor? Etc. Maybe scatter soome latest rumors talking about the scandal that this guy's kids are off being irresponsible while he's dying.

--I wouldn't do the biography, as then someone would have to write the thing. Instead, perhaps the guy gives them a family heirloom, like an enchanted ring. 

--The guy says his family was killed in the War yet has kids? Clarify which family, maybe.

Thanks. Was about to post my

-MrWillis-'s picture

Thanks. Was about to post my updated storyline but will take this into consideration. Sorry for replying late, seems as if though the email thing for claims does not work. 

Please send coffee and energy drinks to fuel my writing addiction.

Thank you in advance, sera!

How would the old man know

Templar Tribe's picture

How would the old man know the player name and rank and know they were coming to assist him?   You need to be more aware of your situation or dialogue when it comes to writing quests. A lot of times these contracts go out to people in guilds and no one has any idea who the person coming to help them will be.  Also I would refrain from having journal updates when the player reaches the town. Only give a general update if the player asks about the old man from either the temple or someone who lives in the town. Otherwise the player could simply bypass journal updates and find the old man himself directly. 

 also, in general your dialogue is not in the tone of Morrowind. You may want to redo the dialogue for the old man, and take a more solemn approach to the tone of the dialogue. calling argonians "scaly-beasts" is a big no-go from me, for example.

What I was thinking is the

-MrWillis-'s picture

What I was thinking is the local priest tells the old man who was coming, giving him a general description of the person so he would know what he would look like. However the priest herself/himself would not know, so there is that so I will need to edit that.

As for the scaly-beasts, yeah I could probably do that better. I was trying to give an emphasis on the old man being a little hateful against Argonians for what they did, as he fought them during the Arnesian War.

Thanks for the feedback!

Please send coffee and energy drinks to fuel my writing addiction.

Thank you in advance, sera!

Okay here is ashes to ashes,

-MrWillis-'s picture

Okay here is ashes to ashes, Version 2.0, coming with less (hopefully) lore breaking dialogue and alternate dialogue for Argonians and Khajits. Also removed the entire bibilography as that does seem to fit within the context of the story and seems too corny.
 

Ash-to-Ashes (Version 2.0)

 

(Note: Questgiver Dialogue is going to be relatively vague and nonspecific as at the time of writing this, the location of person or said quest is unknown to the quest writer.)

 

NPC Questgiver:

“Hello there <PC Rank and Name> the next task we have for you is a simple one. An elder at <XYZ> is nearing death and has requested assistance in helping him in some final tasks. Here are the directions for how to get to said region. His name is Ziril Ra’am, he lives on the edge of village and has a corkbulb farm in front of his house.”

 

Journal Update:

I have been tasked on helping a dying elder by the name of Ziril Ra’am, at the village of <XYZ>. I do not know what the task is I am helping the elder with.

 

When the player arrives, they will easily find Ziril.

 

If the player is noisy, they can ask about latest rumours.

 

“Heard Ziril is about to die. Poor man can’t even take his ashes to Necrom. And he can’t count on his children. His daughter became a entertainer at Suran, and his son became an Ashlander, abandoning his studies in Vivec. Ran to Roth-Roryn for some Ashlander woman. Poor kid was smart as well, sharper then a glass sword.”

 

 

When the player finds the old man, he should use topic of his name. The old man will reply:

 

If the player is NOT Argonian or Khajit:

“Yes, that is me. Are you the one the priest Temple sent to help me?”

 

If the player is Argonian or Khajit:

 

“Yes, that is me you fetcher. What in the Azura’s name are you doing in my house? Please don’t tell me that you are the one the temple sent.”

 

The player will have only option at this point.

 

→ “Yes, I am.”

 

Continue from “Yes, I am

If the player is NOT Argonian or Khajit:

“Good. I am looking for someone to help me take my family’s ashes to Necrom to help fuel the Ghostfence. And I cannot take the ashes myself as I am too weak to make the journey and will more than likely pass on anyways, which is why I have asked for help with this task.”

 

Continue

 

“As a last request I would like you to comeback in a couple of weeks, because I will more than likely be dead by then. The local priest, XYZ name, at the local temple will have our ashes ready for Necrom”

 

If the player IS an Argonian or Khajit:

 

Disposition -15

 

“By the Tribunal! They sent one of YOU to help me? Curse these damn tribunal. One last insult to my life before I die. First, my family slaughtered by the damn Argonians, my daughter becoms a skooma whore in Suran, and my son abandons the Tribunal and joins an Ashlander tribe in the Roth-Roryn region.”

 

Continue

 

“Gah, to cut this short, I will die in a couple of weeks so come back around then and the local priest will have the ashes ready. Although I really just want to curl over and die at the thought of YOUR KIND touching my ashes. Try not to mess it up, n’wah. ”

 

Topic:

 

>Arnesian War

If NOT Argonian or Khajit:

“The war between us and the Argonians, outlander? The entire thing started because stupid Argonians captured, tortured, and killed a trader by the name of Roris. The Tribunal Temple found their reason to declare war against the Argonians, which was about damn time.

 

You know they they killed my family, those backwards walking lizards? My family lived around the Roth-Roryn at the time, and we were traveling to our estate after visiting Vivec for yearly services. They came from the shadows, killed my little sister’s and brother first. Then took my parents, tortured and murdered them.

 

I was away from the estate, fighting under Redoran’s Banner against the Argonians. Maybe if I was here, I could have protected them. Or died beside them. Either would have been better then seeing their mangled corpses when I had to say which one was who.”

 

If Khajit or Argonian:

“Go read a book, I won’t talk to your kind anymore than I have to.”

 

Journal Update:
“I have talked to the elder dunmer, who has instructed me to come back in a couple of weeks and talk to the local Temple priest, who will have his ashes ready.”

 

A couple of weeks pass by.

 

Journal Update:

“A couple of weeks have passed by. I should check on the old man and see if he has passed on, to see if his family’s ashes are ready to be sent to Necrom.”

 

The player comes back to said location towards the temple. The latest rumors have updated.

 

Topic: latest rumors

“Poor Ziril finally passed on. Heard he slit his throat a couple nights ago, after going the Temple and staying their for an entire day. Can’t believe he is gone; did so much for our little village. ”

 

The priest will have a new topic being Ziril Ra’am’s Ashes.

 

Priest Response:

“Yes, here are the ashes of his family in this urn. Watch out, it is heavy, <player name>.

 

Go to Necrom and ask for the Head Priest of the Charnelworks. You will be directed to her and she will know what to do.

 

Journal Update:

I have received the ashes from local Temple priest and have been asked to take them to Necrom. When I get to Necrom, I should ask around where the Head Priest of the Charnelworks is located.

 

The quest continues with the player taking the ashes to Necrom, where they ask about topic Head Priest of the Charnelworks to a local, who will give directions to the proper person, giving their name, which is Bradys Hlaalo.

 

At the person, the player ask Bradys Hlaalo about topic Ziril Ra’am’s Ashes, which the person responds.

 

“I see, you are the <player temple rank> we have been expecting. We received a message in advance. Very well hand me the ashes so I can ready them for the Ghostfence.”

 

At this point, ashes are removed.

 

“Thank you, <player temple rank>. You should probably head back and let <questgiver name and rank> that you have finished the task.”

 

Journal Update:

I have traveled to Necrom and given the ashes to Bradys Hlaalo. I have completed the task and should tell <quest giver name> that I have helped Ziril.

 

The player travels back to the original quest giver who replies.

 

“Thank you, <player name>.”

 

Journal Update:

I have reported to <quest giver> that I have helped Ziril fulfill his dying wish. She thanked me for my deed, sending me on my way.

 

Quest Complete

Please send coffee and energy drinks to fuel my writing addiction.

Thank you in advance, sera!

Thanks! Here's my review with

Kevaar's picture

Thanks! Here's my review with various gramar fixes. I also editted the format to be a little more straightforward for the CS worker.

For the most part, pretty good. I noticed you tend to use a lot of prepositions not quite right, such as saying the daughter is a skooma addict AT Suran rather IN Suran. Also some minor issues with lack of commas creating run-on sentences, and starting sentences with "and". (In dialogue this can go either way as people will talk in nongrammatical ways, but in general you want to avoid starting sentences with conjunctions).  I've corrected all of these in my review here.

I also changed around the wording of some phrases to make it read better or take out awkward characterization along the lines of what TemplarTribe was critiquing. The biggest--I changed the questgiver's dialogue so it is more organized into the topics duties and Ziril Ra'am, so as to keep the topics used consistent throughout. In the recounting of Ziril's past, he jumps back and forth from making it sound like we was there at the time of the family's death to say he was not, so I made that more clear. 
 

 

 

Hi I'm probably going to

Mortimer's picture

Hi I'm probably going to claim this for a quick turnaround, a few questions regarding this quest:

1. Is there a farm already designated for this NPC? The quest specifically mentions a corkbulb farm but I wasn't sure if this NPC already exists or if I'm supposed to find a corkbulb farm and change its owner to Ziril. 
2. He kills himself in the end? Lmao okay. In that case I can see this going a few different ways. 
-Instead he dies of natural causes
or
-Maybe allow a mercy killing if he's portrayed as in pain both emotionally and physically? I don't know why he would allow Argonians to help him at all, forcing the player to murder and lie about it to get the quest completed would be a neat solution. 

I'm spitballing here, this quest is pretty simple to implement

1) I don't believe so, which

Kevaar's picture

1) I don't believe so, which is why I removed the bit about the corkbulbs in my review, as this will need to be tailored to whatever locale you choose for the NPC.
2) If you go the route of a mercy killing, this would probably be quite illegal and so this would need to be reflected in the quest's implementation. MrWillis' dialogue stresses that the guy is disgusted with his children and life (particularly if the Temple acolyte sent to him is an Arognian!), so I think the suicide is appropriate.

I posted the reviewed dialogue in the claim description. Please make a note somewhere how/where you deviate from it. Otherwise, granting claim!

Was there a questgiver in

Mortimer's picture

Was there a questgiver in mind for this? Is there a convenient list of temple questgivers or intended order this quest should slot into the chain? I'm enjoying the freeform nature but if anyone has a suggestion for who should actually be giving this quest that would be great. I've moved an NPC in Bosmora out of there house, and Ziril Ra'am has moved in. Most of the dialogue is there and once I nail down a questgiver it should be ready to be checked.
I figured it out, you'll hear about the quest in Bosmora local rumors etc and you'll get the quest from the local temple. Not sure why I was overthinking it

Also if there's an asset that looks like an urn I'd love to hear about it, I think I'm using bittercup because it looks the most like an urn.

A lot of work has been done

Mortimer's picture

A lot of work has been done on this.

-The quest is given from Vhul Temple which might be a quest hub later at some point? Changing the questgiver is pretty easy, the current one I don't believe is high enough rank to give duties, traditionally. 
-The quest sends you to Bosmora, where Ziril Ra'am lives, the rest of the quest goes swimmingly until it has to check for how many days has passed. I can't remember quite how to make that work, I remember dayspassed being a weird function.
-90% of dialogue is unchanged from the plan. A few small grammatical things were changed and some additional dialogue for journal stages were added to quest npcs. 
-The quest reward is the ceremonial indoril dagger Ziril used to kill himself. It's a standard steel dagger with a "calm humanoid on strike" enchantment (because you're probably going to use it on yourself). 

What would need to be done to merge:
-Delete "Bosmora, Elammu Serith's House". Change the door to go to Ziril Ra'am's house. 
-If merging the mainland and vvardenfell factions is really happening then the questgiver would need to change which faction membership they're looking for.

All in all not bad for getting me used to quest modding again.

Rethinking this quest, it's

Mortimer's picture

Rethinking this quest, it's going back to one of the original plans and starting at Suran from one of Ziril Ra'am's estranged children who approaches you and asks you to help. That sends you to Bosmora which sends you to Necrom. It isn't going to be a temple quest but can give rep if someone wants it to, but I'm pretty indifferent. I want to give players starting in Vvardenfell more reasons to go into TR content, specifically Necrom content, which this should provide. Dialogue coming soon with an updated esp, my workflow is much easier if I put it in game first.  Kevaar brought up a good point that this makes Ziril Ra'am significantly less "abandoned by his kids". I don't think this needs to be a temple quest but I'm going to stick with a vanilla location sending you to a TR location.

Rethinking this quest, it's

Mortimer's picture

Ashes to Ashes
10
A Dunmer at the Suran House of Earthly Delights named Tedras Berethi has asked me to help his dying friend Ziril Ra'am with his final tasks.
11
I have decided to not help Tedras Berethi's friend.
15
I have decided to help Tedras Berethi's friend, Ziril Ra'am, who lives in Bosmora, east of Almalexia and southwest of Necrom. I do not know what tasks I will help Ziril with.
20
I spoke with the elder Dunmer, who has instructed me to come back in a couple of weeks. I am to talk to Alammu Saravyn at the Bosmora temple then, who will have his ashes ready.
30
A couple of weeks have passed. I should check on old man Ziril Ra’am and see if he has passed on.
40
I have received Ziril Ra'am's ashes from Alammu Saravyn and have been asked to take them on to Necrom. When I get to Necrom, I should ask around for the Head Priest of the Charnelworks.
50
I have traveled to Necrom and given the ashes to Bradys Hlaalo. I have completed the task and should tell Tedras Berethi at the Suran House of Earthly Delights that I have helped Ziril Ra'am.
60
I have reported to Tedras Berethi that I helped Ziril Ra'am fulfill his dying wish. He thanked me for helping his friend and gifted me Ziril Ra'am's ceremonial dagger.

greetings - Tedras Berethi
0
Please help me traveller, my dying friend Ziril Ra'am has sent me here and I must not let him down.
11
I have failed you, Ziril. (goodbye)
>=15
Have you helped my friend Ziril Ra'am with his final tasks?
60
Thank you, %PCName, Ziril Ra'am is finally at rest.

topic Ziril Ra'am
tedras:
journal 0
I've known Ziril Ra'am longer than I can remember, but his time is running short. I came to Suran to look for one of his estranged children, but she is nowhere to be found. Travelling here put a great deal of stress on my bones and an accident has left me partially blind. I fear I cannot make the return journey in one piece. If it isn't too much to ask, will you help my friend with his final tasks?
yes

Thank you, %PCName, I am forever in your debt. Ziril Ra'am lives in the village of Bosmora, across from its temple. Bosmora lies east of Almalexia and southwest of Necrom. Thank you traveller, this means a great deal to me.

no
I apologize for imposing on you, outlander. Perhaps it is for the best. (goodbye)

=15 (talking to him while quest is in progress)
 Ziril Ra'am lives in the village of Bosmora, across from its temple. Bosmora lies east of Almalexia and southwest of Necrom. Thank you traveller, this means a great deal to me.

=50 (quest finished)
Thank you, %PCname. A Bosmora priest has sent me his ceremonial dagger, which he asked to be passed on to you. Rest well, Ziril, and be at peace.
tr_m3_ceremonial_dagger (steel dagger casts calm on strike, intended for indoril ritual suicide)

=60 (post completion)
Thank you, %PCname. He rests with his ancestors now.

ziril ra'am asking about ziril ra'am
=Unchanged from above, changed Temple to Tedras
>= 20
"Leave me be, my time is short" 

alammu saravyn (priest of bosmora) on ziril ra'am
=30
Greetings, %PCName. Ziril Ra'am has passed on. Before he died he spent an entire day in prayer at the temple. I have prepared the Ra'am family ashes as he has requested, and I have been informed that you will be transporting them to Necrom.
>=40 (repeat)
Ziril Ra'am was a great and devout hero. He will always be remembered in Bosmora.

ra'am family ashes
alammu (priest of bosmora)
=30
Yes, the Ra'am family ashes are in this urn. Watch out; it is very heavy. Go now to Necrom and ask for the Head Priest of the Charnelworks. He will know what to do.
ra'am family ashes are 50 weight, shows why an old guy couldn't do it alone and gives the player reason to get to necrom asap
>=40 (repeat)
Thank you for helping to transport the Ra'am family ashes.

bradys hlaalo on ra'am family ashes
>=40
I see. We have been expecting you. Yes, we received a message in advance. Very well, hand me the ashes so I can ready them for the Ghostfence.

if you dont have the ashes on you
Have you managed to misplace the Ra'am's family ashes?

if you do
Thank you, %PCname. The Ra'am family is now at rest. (repeated if you ask again)

Better. Couple things I'd

Kevaar's picture

Better. Couple things I'd change--
1) Take out the part about Ziril's friend being blinded, I think, as you don't want to lay it on too thick. Just say he's almost as old as Ziril and so cannot make the trip back in one piece.
2) Add in something about the friend discovering (or already knowing) the state of Ziril's daughter and being disgusted about her current plight. "I tried to convince her but she was too deep in the skooma...Shameful existence" something like that.

I also noticed that the line about Ziril killing himself was taken out? This makes the dagger enchantment seem kind of strange without some context. Change back?

-His friend being partially

Mortimer's picture

-His friend being partially blind would explain how he sends an argonian or khajit to him, he just can't tell. Otherwise he'd know his friend doesn't like em. I can include a line from ziril about how his friend must be blind or stupid to send "one of you" here. Maybe i'll downgrade "blinded" to "my vision is going"
-Sounds good, that's easy enough.
-I think there's still a line or two in there about it somewhere, the original quest dances between "he's going to die soon" and "he offed himself". Why do people know he's going to die soon, does he have a disease or is he just really sad? Did he plan out his suicide? I'm not sure if ritual suicide is completely accepted in their culture, otherwise why wouldn't he just flat out say "dagger time set for wednesday"

--"vision is going" is better

Kevaar's picture

--"vision is going" is better, and also something that affects the elderly without need for an accident. So I'd go with that!

--From what I can tell, his reasoning is that he's near the end of his life anyway and wants to go in a manner of his own choosing. Indoril's fascination with suicide is a twisted thing, hypocritical like the Dunmer's viewpoints on the Morag Tong and assassinations--if you were to ask/reveal it too obliquely, it'd be taboo and could get you disgraced/kicked from the House. But there's an understanding that it happens anyway and can be seen as honorable. Maybe this book would give you some ideas: http://tamriel-rebuilt.org/asset/indoril-book-passing

Other than that, I assume he's also very disappointed over how his kids turned out, and probably has a little PTSD from the Arnesian War, which may have driven him to take his life early as well.

Changes made, latest rumors

Mortimer's picture

Changes made, latest rumors is now in Suran pointing you to the house. 
-Old man no longer has accident, now just regular elderly, mentions specifically looking for the daughter
-Took 6+'s advice and altered the script
-It's still only a 1 day wait for testing purposes.

This should be looked over with a fine toothed comb but for posterity I'll put merging instructions here:
-Interior cell "Bosmora, Elammu Serith's House" should be removed
-Interior cell "Bosmora, Ziril Ra'am's House" should be put in its place and linked
-Script "TR_m3_q_zirildeath" should have the 1 day wait changed to a 14 day wait. The line in question is commented

----------------------------------

this is probably going to be changed to an almas-thirr temple quest. RIP teredes we hardly knew ye

this is a reminder to myself to change the deathday variable to a global variable.

Just to update the

Kevaar's picture

Just to update the conversation here: the questgiver will be the high level questgiver NPC in Almas Thirr, who is giving the player special duties to tend the dead. They send them on to Ziril, in whatever town got chosen for him.

So, no more connection to Suran, and the questgiver's dialogue will probably need to be tweaked to suit/explain the situation. Ham up the player's sacred duties and the identity of the questgiver as (probably) an Ordinator in Mourning.

latest update because I've

Mortimer's picture

latest update because I've actually started to incorporate this into the questchain:

-I think this would work better without any time delay
-I think the ghost of Ziril Ra'am should speak to you after his death

At this point in the quest you are officially a Speaker for the Dead. Keeping with the theme of ghosts speaking to you which is continued in further quests, I think a 50% chameleon Ziril Ra'am thanking you would be a nice touch.

I'm still fairly certain this fetch quest would make a better intro into becoming a speaker for the dead because you speak to the dead both when they're alive and afterwards; it's a metaphor for your transition into your new role.