The Hlaalu, the Hetman, and the Squirmy Scrib Pie



  • Unclaimed

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Summary: A Hlaalu noble is bored, for nothing ever happens in the sleepy fishing village of Gol Mok. He asks the player to help him play a prank on his Indoril cousins in Vhul by delivering a Squirmy Scrib Pie to the Vhul Hetman’s wife.


Unique Assets:
Hlaalu NPC in Gol Mok mansion: TR_i4-415-Hla
Squirmy Scrib Pie item
Hetman’s Wife NPC in Vhul, Hetman Vanis Nithri’s House
Molecrab farmer NPC near Aanthirin Region (0, -27), X: 36,966; Y: -146,594

150 gold pieces
bottle of Flin

This quest is offered through the House Hlaalu faction, and can either be obtained through the Hlaalu noble themselves, OR through the House Hlaalu steward in Andothren. The steward sends the player to the Hlaalu noble, saying he had asked for help for some sort of secret mission in Indoril lands, very hush-hush and potentially dangerous considering the Thirr River conflict.

When spoken to, the Hlaalu nobleman says that he is terribly bored. He has heard of the famed Baker’s Hall in Vhul and wants to embarass the Hetman by playing a little prank. He asks the player to bake some molecrab eggs into a scrib pie and offer it to Hetman’s wife.

First the player must gather molecrab eggs. Any batch of molecrab eggs will do, however, the player can ask a molecrab farmer to the southeast (Aanthirin Region (0, -27) or X: 36,966; Y: -146,594) to give them a batch for a small sum of gold.

Next the player is to go to the Baker’s Hall in Vhul and steal any one of the Unbaked Scrib Pies scattered about in the shop.

They must then find someone willing to bake the pie for them. (The Hlaalu noble explains that if the heat is just right, the molecrabs begin to hatch, making in a squirmy dish for the unfortunate prank victim. The player isn’t expected to know this technique, so cannot cook it themselves.) There are four possibilities:

1)If the player asks Golyn Volor (the Baker’s Hall merchant), they are turned away in anger and the quest fails.
2) If they ask Marayn Voldal (the Howling Hound innkeeper), he explains he doesn’t know the technique, but wishes the player luck in their prank.
3) They can ask Falas Othril (town apothecary) or any Dunmer Baker, who will hand them back a Squirmy Scrib Pie to deliver to the hapless victim.
4) With a disposition check, they can ask Imeni Volor (Golyn Volor’s wife, located in his house) to bake the pie. She doesn’t want to shame her husband, but also isn’t terribly fond of the Hetman.

The player then must give the Squirmy Scrib Pie to the Hetman’s wife. After hilarity in the dialogue, she forces a Goodbye and the player is free to return to the Hlaalu noble. The noble gives the player a small gold reward and a bottle of flin to celebrate the successful prank.


Ah, a chance to prove my

Dormichign64's picture

Ah, a chance to prove my worth as a creative writer. Permission to claim as dialogue writer?

BTW, the people who can bake the pie know that it's a prank, correct?

I think I like the second

Kevaar's picture

I think I like the second Hetman's wife best. I'll go through and put any comments or corrections into the document. 

There we are. Most of the

Kevaar's picture

There we are. Most of the thinigs I fixed were small grammar mistakes, but made some other suggestions as well. For English not being your first language, you write very well!

Thank you very much! I made

Cris Ros's picture

Thank you very much! I made the adjustments you suggested, I think the text is good now, but I´ll take another look just in case.