Diego's Literary Showcase

DiegoDraw · Post by **DiegoDraw** » Wed Jul 05, 2006 6:33 pm

Well, I've written the beginning of a story, which I believe could turn into a series of stories, involving a monk and his studies, on the southern coast of Hammerfell (seeing as this seemed to receive the most request in the threads explaining what TR would like to see with literary work).

I don't have too much introduction, seeing as this is pretty much the introductory book, so without further ado, here it is:
----------------------------
Rahtz's Trial, Chapter One

"Wrong!" Yelled Skrotz, "You're doing this all wrong, Rahtz"

"I apologize, Master," responded Rahtz, humbly, "I simply cannot break
this rock. My staff is but wooden. It is not hard enough."

Thwack!

Skrotz firmly took his staff and smacked Rahtz on the back of the head.

"Rahtz, if you expect to complete your test in three months, you know you
must have no doubt. Doubt makes destruction," Skrotz said, his voice softening, knowing very well
that Rahtz had been working his hardest, "Rahtz. Go ahead and go back to the monestary. We'll continue tomorrow."

"Yes, Sera," Rahtz replied and started running towards the monestary, "Thank you, Master."

Skrotz stood, arms folded, and stared at the boulder. He picked up the wooden staff lying on the ground and whipped it at the large rock.

"Hyah!" Skrotz yelled, with a calm agressiveness; the stone lay at his feet, in two pieces. Skrotz chuckled to himself, and walked out to the ocean.

Skrotz had studied for years at J'Kasha monestary, on the coast, just south of Gilane. He walked out to the cliffs on the coast, looking out along the stretching sea, beyond Stras M'Kai.

"Master," footsteps came behind Skrotz as he sat along the coast, "Master, that was amazing." Rahtz sat down next to his life-long tutor-cum-friend.

"In time, you will learn such things with a such elegance," Skrotz assured Rahtz, "Remember: Don't fear nor retain choler towards your lessons, even if you have not acheived
what you thought your ability could hold. Choler makes destruction."

"Yes. Yes, I know, Master. Thank you."

Thwack!

Skrotz quickly threw his fist at Rahtz, as Rahtz, as instinctive as a tiger, caught the assault.

"You learn quickly, son," Skrotz chuckled.

"Not too quickly, I hope, Master. After all...Speed makes destruction," Rahtz jested.

"Not at all, Rahtz. Not at all," Skrotz laughed.

Rahtz ran back to the monestary, and walked underneath the so-familiar tapestry depicting a tiger in mid-metamorphosis into a human. While weretigers were hardly ever witnessed in Tamriel as a whole--let alone in a humble monestary in the south of Hammerfell--they were highly regarded in J'Kasha temple. The founder, Sintenel Grasha, was a weretiger himself, and led his people to worship the abilities--the strength, the grace, the elegance, the regality--of tigers.

Rahtz walked forward into the Temple courtyard. Some younger monks were playing a ritualistic game, with a heavy ball, specifically designed to accent the learning monks' strength and finesse, while still being entertaining.

Rahtz moved left to the Commons, and by the meditation chamber, to the living chambers. He walked by a few elder monks, bowing his head, gracefully, as they passed, and went to his dormitory, and to his bedroll. He sat down, and quickly layed his head on the ground. He was incredibly sore from the last few weeks of training, which were obviously getting progressively harder, as the weeks grew nearer to his trial to pass to the next stage of his monk-hood.

The next trial would be his last. He was going to become a full-fledged J'kasha monk; he would officially have the fierceness and the intensity of a tiger, yet would still have a calm reservoir of distilled kindness and quiet calm. The only superior rank above him, proceeding the trial would be the level of the utmost respect, the elder monk, and he would have to have patience and virtue beyond the thinkable, to reach this rank--such a rank of respect could not be tested through trial. Only by selection.

As Rahtz layed his head down, he dreamed of his trial, his new rank, and everything he knew would come with these. He knew he was prepared. He had to be prepared.

----------------------------

Alas, I cannot accurately say it would be my best writing, so far, I hold pride (perhaps more of a dampened arrogance) for whatever I write. I don't know if this is exactly what you guys are looking for, but criticism of any kind would be nice, and I do hope for induction to this large crew; it has certainly received my interest. Your harshest, most truthful criticism is quite appreciated here; I can take it quite well, especially in consideration of my writing--I strive to be better, wherever I possibly can. Also, this story is not quite complete (apologies for that), and if I do start as a modder for TR, it will definitely be completed, and if my writing flows as planned, it would most likely become a short series (probably three or four books or so, as well a possible book series, taking place after Rahtz's acceptance ceremony).

Also, as a sidenote, for those who pick and choose the modders who work on the project, I am also quite fluent with scripting and dialogue, and can say I've been totally crazed over TES lore, since Daggerfall; And although I cannot say I currently have any examples of my prowess in scripting or dialogue or lore-expertise at the time being--and while I can obviously comprehend why a stranger's word can mean absolutely nothing to you guys--I can say that I do have a moderate aptitude in these areas (albeit, I must admit, my true metier in the modding world is creative writing, no doubt). As a final sidenote, I can work on both Morrowind and Oblivion, as I have both, and will work diligently wherever placed, if I am chosen to be a modder.

Thanks, as always, for those who read and review my work. I really do appreciate it.

~D-Draw

Nanu · Post by **Nanu** » Wed Jul 05, 2006 8:35 pm

Well D, I must say that your post was rather eloquent. While I know enough about grammar to write a book, I'm not much qualified to review this. I'll try and send Haplo or Xui'al your way and let them work their magic.

Welcome to the forums, but don't expect to be promoted right away, out leadership is trying to reach and agreement about this system as a whole.

EDIT: If you'd like to try your hand at an Oblvion interior, say, an elven ruin, I'd be more than happy to review it. Just do your best the first time.

Enjoy your stay.

DiegoDraw · Post by **DiegoDraw** » Wed Jul 05, 2006 9:05 pm

Nanu Ra wrote:Well D, I must say that your post was rather eloquent. While I know enough about grammar to write a book, I'm not much qualified to review this. I'll try and send Haplo or Xui'al your way and let them work their magic.

Welcome to the forums, but don't expect to be promoted right away, out leadership is trying to reach and agreement about this system as a whole.

EDIT: If you'd like to try your hand at an Oblvion interior, say, an elven ruin, I'd be more than happy to review it. Just do your best the first time.

Enjoy your stay.

Right-o. Thank you for the kind encouragement. I didn't mention that I am able to do interiors and such as well, but...I can't say that it's in my range of prowess, necessarily. Plus, I really don't like doing it that much. Ha ha. I could try my hand at an elven ruin if you want to see what I can do, though (don't expect to be impressed...). I'll try it out and see what I can do (I haven't really tried to do much on Oblivion interiors yet, but I've done a few in Morrowind).

~D-Draw

Noirgrim · Post by **Noirgrim** » Wed Jul 05, 2006 9:19 pm

If interiors aren't your thing, don't do one. It will just take a day or so for one of the lit guys to stop on by and read this thread.

lb003g0676 · Post by **lb003g0676** » Wed Jul 05, 2006 9:43 pm

Well nice story... the monk/monastery setting one is still needed. Welcome, and if you are any good at art, shows us that too! If you can play music, taht can definately be sueful, or if you can act... i think you could stnad in the metaphorical curtaisn for a while, cus Hammerfall won't have voice acting for a while, and Stirks gone. But writing like that, it might be worth sticking around for.

DiegoDraw · Post by **DiegoDraw** » Wed Jul 05, 2006 11:24 pm

lb003g0676 wrote:Well nice story... the monk/monastery setting one is still needed. Welcome, and if you are any good at art, shows us that too! If you can play music, taht can definately be sueful, or if you can act... i think you could stnad in the metaphorical curtaisn for a while, cus Hammerfall won't have voice acting for a while, and Stirks gone. But writing like that, it might be worth sticking around for.

Thanks.

Yeah, well, I can play keyboard, guitar, and bass, as well (though, my main prowess is the bass, at the moment), so if you guys are adding new music, I suppose that could be an asset as well.

I can't really say that I'm too good of a voice actor, but I suppose that's alright, for the time being; and I'm not that great at visual art, albeit, I have done some minor concept art for a few things (but that's barely useful, since I'm nearly positive my art wouldn't be any better than what you already have).

In any case, thanks for being so helpful, guys. I appreciate the encouragement.

~D-Draw

Nanu · Post by **Nanu** » Wed Jul 05, 2006 11:41 pm

Ooh, keyboards are cool. I play one of those.

Post by **Haplo** » Thu Jul 06, 2006 1:25 am

I use one every day! My favorite keys are 'u' 'f' 'i' 'a'...

DiegoDraw · Post by **DiegoDraw** » Fri Jul 07, 2006 4:57 am

Haplo wrote:I use one every day! My favorite keys are 'u' 'f' 'i' 'a'...

Heh...So, you would be the literature moderator here, hm (indeed, I can both write and read!)? I apologize as before I posted, I didn't see the details on not recruiting moddders bulletin (erm...just kidding about that ability to read thing...shucks), but it seems to have disappeared.

Apologies for being pushy--or something relevant--but are you guys still hiring modders? Oh, and I'll post a little bit more of my work a bit later, for sure.

~D-Draw

Sload · Post by **Sload** » Fri Jul 07, 2006 5:12 am

Like misery in only this way, we enjoy company. Of course we are still "hiring" modders.

You can make quests? On Oblivion? We need you badly. Please make me something to show your talent.

DiegoDraw · Post by **DiegoDraw** » Fri Jul 07, 2006 6:15 am

Sload wrote:Like misery in only this way, we enjoy company. Of course we are still "hiring" modders.

You can make quests? On Oblivion? We need you badly. Please make me something to show your talent.

Heh. I see.

Yes, sure thing. I can put together a quest in a few days, most likely. Would you like me to just put it on an ESP and send it to you?

With that, I also have another piece of literary work to show for myself (I promise, I don't only sit on my lazy computer chair all day), though...Unfortunately, this has nothing to do with my monk quest, which is still in progress (organization is too troublesome to be trifled with, when it comes to my writing creativity).

Here is the beginning of a story/Fan Fiction book of sorts, for my character (who just happens to share a name with my common forum-identity, for those who happen to be in the habit of slow realizations):

-------------------------------------
Diego's Discursion

Chapter The First

I shall begin my--quite over-verbose, yet hopefully particularizing--classification of contemplations with a question and a story. First, the question: When faced under extraneous circumstances, should you look at the circumstances or rather contemplate the extraneity of the circumstances themselves?

I had called upon a common friend not two hours past dawn. It was early, sure, but he had always been the kind of Argonian who would rise far earlier than necessary, solely to be awake at such a time.

I rapped Skin-Of-Dragon's door. Standing just in front of the threshold, I heard a god-forbidden scream. Though...In retrospect, I cannot say the scream was that of fright. At least not the startled fright most would tack onto such a description. It was a scream of death. Is someone frightened while dying? I cannot say; I've never died before. Is a small, Breton girl's blood chilled like Atmora when she is about to be torn limb-from-body by a disgustingly grotesque monster, who--in any honesty--has the most sickening likeness ever witnessed? I cannot say; I've never been a small, Breton girl who is--by Azura, you get my point by now, yes?

Sure enough, as I thrust my blade through Dragon's door (thank the Nine that I had sharpened it two days prior), stood before me both a large minotaur, and a frightened Breton--err...rather, simply a dying Breton. Well, surely, reader, you must be in the utmost state of confusion at this time. I cannot say I was in the same state at the time. Skin-of-Dragon did have some...well...we'll say "odd" frequencies. I stood there as the Breton was mistaken for a morning loaf of bread, and eaten whole (the poor minotaur must've never learned his manners around company, tsk). The minotaur simply looked at me...and ran away, frightened from its skin, with Skin-of-Dragon sitting in a pool of his cold blood behind where the minotaur had previously stood (prior to my frightening of the little whimp, of course).

Now that I'm sure I've caught your attention, and you're fully attentive to my story, I can now safely start at the beginning of this story...

I am Diego. Diego Draw, more accurately. Of course, many have heard the name, yet no one knows the man...Or beast, would perhaps be more accurate. I am an Argonian. And yet I am not an Argonian. I am a name. Or perhaps, an idea, if you would like to think of it as such. Diego Draw is not a person, of that you can be positive. Yet he is an assassin; and a poet; and an alchemist; and a hermit; and a publican; and a Black Marsh resident. You may tack all of these things onto me, but I am not a person.

You see...Thirty years ago, on this day, I was not Diego Draw. I was a simple Argonian, blue-cheeked, and silver-tongued. My arrogance should show in this statement, but I was sly with all of Black Marsh's women. On this day, I disappeared. On this day, Diego continued.

With caution for continuity aside, reader, ask yourself. What is a name? An indicator. No more. Now ask yourself--with further caution displaced--what happens when an identifier becomes a fortification. Take the Hyphia Facia. It is a completely harmless mould--granted the undoubtability that its taste resembles that of Guar-droppings. It can actually have some stimulative properties, when applied properly throughout one's body. This, of course, is quite common knowledge, and, even if the plant tastes precisely like Guar-droppings, it is commonly known. Now, take the Bungler's Bane. Its toxins infect the odd weary wanderer who (quite frankly put) too idiotic to think of the subsequent consequences of his own actions, with whatever form of fatality it wishes to spread. Obviously, far from the stories that people like to hear about Hyphia Facia. And yet...These two objects of foliage are likened similarly. One lethal, one healing. One malevolent cruelty, the other a benevolent benefactor. How can these be shaped so similarly? Must be a trick of the et'Ada. But I'm writing this to explain myself, not plants. Now think...Take the Hyphia Facia out of the wanderer's eyes completely. IF a wanderer has heard no stories of healing, no stories of benevolence coming from a plant shaped similarly to Bungler's Bane, he'll stay clear of the shape entirely, due to the fact that nothing good could ever come from such an encounter. Does that mean that benevolence in that form is impossible? Did the Hyphia Facia even exist? Of course it did...But its name is now known as Bungler's Bane, and is subsequently avoided, for fear of life.

And alas, this is why I issue this to you, reader. This is why I scribe these thoughts onto my silly, little parchment...In hopes that you even exist, and that I am not just a silly, old dinosaur, writing tales for old wives and stupid Khajiiti bartenders.

I am Diego Draw...I am this name. I am Bungler's Bane. I take peoples' lives. But does the benevolence of Hyphia Facia not exist among my outward Bungler's Bane? Certainly not. I am, after all, just a silly, old dinosaur, writing tales for old wives and stupid Khajiiti bartenders from the chambers, deep in a cave's basement.

Here you must remember, reader. I am the deadly assassin. I am Bungler's Bane...But hold no prejudice against my scrawlings. My scriptures are only to prove this is only my appearance, and that, at dawn, I still have a shadow. I still have a little lizard, chasing me around on the ground.
-------------------------------------

So...with no more ado...Adieu. (I'll get to work on a sample quest, Sload)

~D-Draw

Sload · Post by **Sload** » Fri Jul 07, 2006 6:31 am

Just post the quest as an attachment in this thread.

DiegoDraw · Post by **DiegoDraw** » Fri Jul 07, 2006 7:04 am

Alright. I'll have it up in a day or two (sometime over the weekend anyway).

~D-Draw

Post by **Haplo** » Sat Jul 08, 2006 12:58 am

I'm strongly recommending Diego Draw be promoted to the status of TR modder, for the skilled usage and understanding of the English language (namely, he's a good writer). If his quests are as good as his tales, I'm sure Sload will recommend him as well.

Sload · Post by **Sload** » Sat Jul 08, 2006 2:47 am

Lit is probably enough to promote you on, Diego, but just for fun I want to see a simple quest first. Make up the plot whatever you want, just make sure it has at least one script and is lore appropriate. Show off your stuff.

Nanu · Post by **Nanu** » Sat Jul 08, 2006 3:00 am

Just for kicks, I'd recommend him too. Got an interesting style this one.

Post by **Haplo** » Sat Jul 08, 2006 3:10 am

Just for kicks I would be careful, because you're close to spam there, Nanu, bud.

DiegoDraw · Post by **DiegoDraw** » Sat Jul 08, 2006 4:29 am

Cool, guys. Thanks. I'll get this quest completed in a little while for you, Sload. Glad you guys like my writing.

Oh, by the way, I'm not planning on adding voices for my dialogue, if that's okay...I can't say I have talent for talking like a lizard-man...

~D-Draw

Nanu · Post by **Nanu** » Sat Jul 08, 2006 4:34 am

No voices'll be fine, but it can't hurt. It'd give us something to laugh about.

Sload · Post by **Sload** » Sat Jul 08, 2006 4:46 am

DiegoDraw wrote:Oh, by the way, I'm not planning on adding voices for my dialogue, if that's okay...I can't say I have talent for talking like a lizard-man...

We don't expect you to do your own voices. We have a whole bundle of voiceactors who do them.

If you can, however, do any voices for the races, feel free to audition (I think you need to be a modder to post there, though). We can use more of everything.

DiegoDraw · Post by **DiegoDraw** » Sat Jul 08, 2006 7:00 pm

Bah...I apologize to keep you waiting still, Sload. The Oblivion CS has a tendency to be unkind to me...Heh...I should be done with it by tomorrow or Monday. And I'll admit, I'm still a tyro on the OB CS, but I should be able to work my way through it, I think.

~D-Draw

Sload · Post by **Sload** » Sun Jul 09, 2006 3:32 am

We are patient, we can wait.

You say it is unkind to you? With bugs? The only quest related bug I've found is that deleting a marker for the compass crashes it.

DiegoDraw · Post by **DiegoDraw** » Sun Jul 09, 2006 3:41 am

I was somewhat joking. I mean, there's just some things I've yet to completely understand. Very complicated...

~D-Draw

DiegoDraw · Post by **DiegoDraw** » Tue Jul 11, 2006 4:55 am

Apologies for the double-post, but I've (finally) completed my sample quest. It's attatched to this post. Sorry it took so long. Dang real life...Getting in the way of my modding...

Anyways, I realize it's a pretty low-grade quest...:/ I'm not that great yet, but I do have a good-to-learn attitude (obviously, all I can do simply ask you to trust my word on that one); I was hoping I could learn some stuff about the Oblivion CS just working here.

Anyways, that's what I got...Is there anything else you guys would like for me to do before I can get promoted (not to be over-pretentious, but I am quite eager get working for this team, for pretty much obvious reasons)?

Oh, and as I said, I do play some music; unfortunately, I'm more into funk/jazz music on bass, and on piano--the only real instrument that I could play music on--I really can't say I'm that great...So...I don't know. I might put some samples on here later.

~D-Draw

Nanu · Post by **Nanu** » Tue Jul 11, 2006 5:17 am

That's a very large avatar you have there sir...

Anyway, double posting is fine in your own showcase.

I myself play the piano, so if you wish to put some midi files on here, I'd me more than happy to critique them.

Sload · Post by **Sload** » Tue Jul 11, 2006 5:22 am

I'm looking at the quest now, I'll write it all up in a sec.

But yes, please try to keep your avatar within 100x100. Even though some of us fail that (like myself), it definitely needs to be smaller.

Anonymous · Post by **Anonymous** » Tue Jul 11, 2006 5:32 am

Sload wrote: But yes, please try to keep your avatar within 100x100. Even though some of us fail that (like myself), it definitely needs to be smaller.

Rule of thumb, as long as theres no horizontal stretching its okay (100 max), and verticle isnt too bad (like mine and sloads ones...mines about 100x120)

Sload · Post by **Sload** » Tue Jul 11, 2006 5:56 am

It's definitely good enough for modder approviality. I'll get you that in a sec. Before that, however, I'd like to make comments, pretty much on minor things.

First, the plot. Why does he get angry that you tried on his ring? It makes more sense for him to just go "told ya so." This is a rather minor thing though, and the quest is so simple that it just works. Luckily for longer quests, all plots are posted and discussed before they're made, so whether the writer needs to better explain something or because there's something wrong. It all gets sorted before any quest is made.

Second, the set up is missing the choice. Always have the NPC ask "Do you want to?" so the player can decline.

And finally, your writing is very comma-tish. Which is great for something that's supposed to sound literary, but dialogue and journal is supposed to flow naturally and quickly. For example,

A strange Argonian, named Diego, walked up to me in Anvil and asked me, sincerely, to retrieve his ring from the Cheydinhal Fighter's Guild. He says that if anybody wears the ring, they will be injured somehow. I should go to the Fighter's Guild. The ring should be inside somewhere.

would work better as

A strange Argonian named Diego walked up to me in Anvil and asked me to retrieve his ring from the Cheydinhal Fighter's Guild. He says that if anybody wears the ring, they will be injured somehow. I should go to the Fighter's Guild. The ring should be inside somewhere.

But that's not all. The last two sentences aren't very useful. We know that Diego said that the ring is in the fighters guild and he wants it. Having the player say they should go and that the ring will be inside is silly. Use things the player says only when necessary.

So it's changed to

A strange Argonian named Diego walked up to me in Anvil and asked me to retrieve his ring from the Cheydinhal Fighter's Guild. He says that if anybody wears the ring, they will be injured somehow.

The actual scripting and stuff looks good. We'll get it all worked out.

TEH MODDAR IZ APPROVED

Dexter · Post by **Dexter** » Tue Jul 11, 2006 5:58 am

Modder WILL be promoted...
...when he scales down that avatar

DiegoDraw · Post by **DiegoDraw** » Tue Jul 11, 2006 6:03 am

Err...Sorry about the avatar, guys. Heh...I went on and slapped that one on there. Wasn't really sure about the size restrictions, so I left it. It's better now (but you shall all pay a price for scaling down the awesomeness of Rattrap...kiddin').

Thanks for the tips Sload.

That was useful.

~D-Draw

Dexter · Post by **Dexter** » Tue Jul 11, 2006 6:08 am

And you are now a TR Modder. Congratulations.