Scummy Rats and Chum-Buckets [WIP]

[DiegoDraw]

Scummy Rats and Chum-Buckets

Piracy...What is it? Most people don't know. They don't know the peril, the codswallop we live through on those damned ships. Load the cannons. Swab the deck. Catch that damned rat. The orders never cease to fly. Medicinal procedures are disgusting. Everything is just horrid. Diseases. Bloodshed. More diseases. More bloodshed. Then the occaisional landing scandal (that just so happens to "not go according to plan" every stinking time). I mean, by Arkay, the conditions we deal with...They're horrid. I'm writing this account simply to rant about my weary life as a pirate, in what minimal time that I have to do so.

First of all, who am I? I am simply an Imperial. But not so simply, a pirate. A Cyrodiil on a pirate ship seems odd. What in Aurbis could drive one of Cyrodiilic skin to such a lifestyle? Hah. Why, the money, of course. The glorious riches. Stupid merchant ships just sail right by us. We raise our Jolly Roger and watch, cackling, as their trousers shift brown-and-yellow. And then...Jump across. The money. The riches! Ha ha!

Our ever-so-jolly crew calls themselves the "Shrews of Sheogorath." If you couldn't tell, we are quite fond of Sherry, himself. When a man goes crazy on-board, we send him sailing on his lonesome to "greet good ol' Sheo." There are other influences in what we gruff men do in our free-time, but I'd care more to leave it to your imaginations.

Our crew is part of the Brethren of Stros M'Kai. Basically, it means that we have to sign a contract with some other crews, displaying our moral validity, and we gain the protection of our brothers-at-sea. No wenches aboard. No sinking ships, except in extreme cases. All things considered, it is far more worth it to join this guild than to go as a lone crew.

Our crew are cutthroats. We strike fear on the coast of Hammerfell and in the Western seas. "Death to the rich, and riches to the poor," we shout with choler at the oncoming merchant ships. What fun it is to sea them scatter as we drop our dinky, little while flag, and hurl up our sick-inciting, soul-unfurling flag, depicting a sword slashing an hourglass, stating that their times are up.

Our crew consists of mages, archers, and swordsmen. We need the mages for artillery causes. At first, we didn't use any of them. But then we started bringin' 'em aboard, and aye...They did help us on our first voyage. Damned wizard-fools always want more shares, though. Awful stubborn pricks they be. When we near a merchant ship, the mages let fly fireballs like no other. Not at the ship's hull. NEVER at the ship's hull. Nay, we set fire to the sails. The last thing we want to see at sea is a sunken ship. A loss of gold, all-in-all (unless we get a specialized Argonian to swim 'is lazy arse down there and collect us our treasures).

Then, when nearing the stopped merchant ship (which hopefully, by now, is stopped and NOT sunk to the bottom of the sea), the archers hurl arrows. They fling arrows at the remaining sails until they're completely destroyed, and then fire on the lousy crew members. Often, we try to get our most skilled marskmen up in the mast-barrels, where they can try to deviously fire upon the lousy captains of the merchant ships.

After the archers, the swordsmen flood in. We drop the plank, and yell "Arr," as we all swing and jump and run to the frightened ship. Aye, they put up some fights sometimes, but no ridiculous merchant army is going to fling fear towards MY cutlass. Cut the necks, stab the hearts, kill every member aboard...Well, at least the ones that don't drown themselves like nice, rich morons.

Subsequently, we plunder the vessel, and sometimes replace it's sails for our own brethren, in case some lousy crew loses their own ship.

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Seeing as it looked like there needed to still be some pirate stories to be written, here's one (that's no where near completion). I'll expand on the ship crew, the captain, etcetera. This is a ROUGH DRAFT. Plus, it sounds kind of bland right now, I know. I'll spice it up after I have the main synopsis.
Still, though, even though it's very rough around the edges, any comments are definitely appreciated.


~D-Draw

[Haplo]

I'm a little bothered by the way each of the body paragraphs start out with 'our crew'. Maybe you could spice that up with a small change to one or two? Example: "The crew" or "The Shrews". I do look forward to seeing it in a complete form.

[Sload]

That would be changing tenses, Haplo. I suggest We and We Shrews for the first and third our crew respectively.

[Haplo]

No it wouldn't. Anyway, I think it's fixable by completely taking out the 'our' parts of the crew, but there are tons of other ways to go about it.

[Sload]

Haplo has clarified for me that the proper grammatical term is 'point of view.'