New York - A Review

[Nemon]

It's been over a month now since my return to Norway, and having some time to digest the emotional impact this metropolis had on me, I think it is time to pin my feelings to zero's and one's; Here's my little review of NY, on teh intarwebs.


Getting There

Travelling to New York means travelling to the US and A, which for some reason is quite simple when coming from the centre of the universe: Norway. Our oil-blessed nation is flowing over with wealth and egoism, and travelling one fourth of the earth cost us close to nothing compared what cambodian refugees pay to get shipped in a container to another country. Norwegians are one of the wealthiest, richest country measured by income per capita, still we moan and complain the most. Did our lunch arrive five minutes late? Moan! Complain! I believe that it is the Norwegian gene pool that contributed mostly to the idea that Americans sue one another a lot. Our ancestors had it in them, the sue gene. I am not getting further on this topic, as this is my NY review. Conclusion: Our bitching and complaining has resulted in some strange way of arriving at JFK when it has the smallest queue's and traffic. A couple of minutes after landing, we're boarding a taxi heading for Manhattan.


Road Standard in New York

Or maybe I should subtitle this one "Yellow Cab suspension standard"? It was one hell of a bumpy ride, and I thank God I am still alive. We slalomed around holes the size of small elephants, honking on less fortunate taxi drivers and getting acustomed to the rear bumper of the cab in front of us. Our russian (Nico?) taxi driver took us for a small tour of Manhattan while telling us what we saw. Beeing familiar with NY from numerous TV shows and movies I found myself telling HIM mostly what we saw... Conclusion: I am never going to complain about Norwegian road standards again. I blaim my forefathers for spreading 4 1/2 million people on an area the size of two American states, mostly clinging onto steep mountains sides and gorges.

to be continued...

[Nemon]

...

Where we lived

We stayed at some friends place. Which was an apartment on Manhattan. Which was on the 48th floor. Which was one avenue from Broadway. Which had this one guy pushing the revolving door for us, we didn't even have to aknowledge him! Which was awkward, though nice. Not having to worry about paying for lodging in New York, we allocated our funds to the shopping budget instead The elevator in this building gave me a mild nausea everytime we rocketed into the sky, or plummeted down below. And living in the top floor is overrated. Having to pick up 3-4 people from floors below everytime you want to go out sucks.


Streets and Avenues

The concept of naming the streets streets and the streets avenues is quite ingenious. To think that they came up with this idea in the early 19th century is impressive. Too bad they couldn't do this with The Village and surrounding areas. I don't know how long we spent circling that area looking for the best hamburgers in New York, only to find a crowded brown worn out bar where we had no idea where to queue. The Village can suck off for beeing such a bitch in my opinion, having attractions such as most sex shops and bohemian is so 90's. "Straighten up and get yourselves some numbered streets and avenues" I shouted out loud, only to find myself waking up in a dumpster the next morning...


to be continued after a while, I'm all out of coffee.

[Hillbilly Man]

Sounds like an intresting trip, how long did the flight from Norway take. I've always pictured overseas travel as long, boring and all you see is water. How was the food too.

[Macar]

I'm still awaiting the exciting conclusion. Coffey must be hard to come by there!

[Hillbilly Man]

He is probaly flying back to New York to get more coffe.

[evergrey]

I want to move to Norway... I bet they have health care there and everything!

[Lud]

I'm impressed that you didn't find any floaters or bleeders in this "New York" claim. Who modded it? What map is it on?

[Gnomey]

It's even bigger than Almalexia!

The only time that I visited New York was when I was five, and I was only passing through along with my family. (We were taking a tour across Northern US and Southern Canada). After reading this thread I can't help wondering whether it would have been a good thing to stop by for a longer period.

[Gez]

Sounds a bit uber, though. 48 floors? Just for a hotel?

[Haplo]

It is a bit much, although NYC does have tall buildings.

[Nemon]

48 floors yes, but it was not a hotel. Apartements for rent is more precise.

This I write at beautiful Bahia Feliz in Gran Canaria!

Subway and Service Personel at the Subway

At first glimpse the whole Subway thing seems kind of stupid. I mean, rail based transportation? Did the Americas ever leave the nineteenth century or not? LOLing my way down below the streets I found myself strangely familiar. After all, my Matrix viewing skills, not to forget Sliding Doors, has left me with enough knowledge about the concept of trains always going in tunnels, never seeing daylight.
First, I talk to the gently bearded woman behind the bulletproof glass in the small booth. She answers my touristly well formulated questions with words seldom longer than three letters. So screw that, and let's just cash out on a week pass. After a few trips the idea of rail based transportation grew on me, and although the moron who thought that making the stairs and halls you must pass from street level to rail level twist and turn and mess your orientation up succeeded in the "hey can we confuse our passengers" commitee, I roll a four on the dice. Service personel should shave more often.


Pretzels

Lame ass suckage. Who the heck thought soft salty kringles was a good idea? We bought ourselves some while walking close to Central Park. Never again.


Tall houses uncalled for

Don't see the point. There are plenty of room elsewhere. Escpecially the skyscrapers situated NOT on Manhattan, but embarrasingly towering across either the East or the Hudson river. Like large erected dicks, embarrasing for all to see... I bet the Manhattan ones laugh at them.


more to come!

[Nemon]

Post Service

Or should that be Post no Service? Either way, I purchased an electric guitar at Royal Music NY in Long Island, at Merrick. So I get this guy to send it to me here in Norway, shipping it across the Atlantic, since I don't want to carry the guitar around NY, JFK and home. Two weeks later I recieve an email telling me the post office screwed us over and lost the guitar somewhere in the middle of nowhere. Luckily, Royal Music NY features the greatest customer service ever, so he sent me a new one a few days later.
But the post service sucks.


$

When we left Norway, the american dollar cost us NOK 5.41 . Eight years ago we'd have to pay over NOK 8 for one dollar, so that rocks. Today, we pay around NOK 5, which have lead to an increase in web shopping. $ = kickass!


Manhattan Fertility Rate

I don't know whether or not us beeing at the 48th floor had anything to do with it, but I think my dear wife actually got pregnant while in NY. That's correct, I'm becoming a father in october!

[Thrignar Fraxix]

That's correct, I'm becoming a father in october!

:O

CONGRATULATIONS

[Lady Nerevar]

you impregnated your wife while staying with your friend? no way is that good etiquette ;P

congradz! huzzah for the next generation!

[aro101]

Wow, impressive

[Hemitheon]

yay, the future generation of TR. Congratulations.

But the question must be begged:

"Was it Mr. Big? Was it me? Was it New York?"

[Haplo]

Congratulations on the pregnancy

[Elfane]

Congrats Nemon, fatherhood is the most scary and the best thing ever. Hope that everything with the pregnancy will be fine.