Jonaman8' Showcase

[The Greatness]

Maybe when I've got these IAS quests up. Damn it this reviewing stuff is hard.

[Jonaman8]

Damn, I just started to make a second ending (whole quest) for this showcase because I wanted to do something while I was waiting and now it is downloaded three times. I will wait for a review before going on with the mod because if it's good enough, I made the extra for nothing.

PS: Who's reviewing this?

[Jonaman8]

Does somebody knows the script command to remove the items the player has in its inventory and places them in a container? Yes, while I'm waiting, I'm modding again.

[MSam]

Hello again,

I'm really sorry that no-one has gotten around to looking at your showcase. As you could understand, it's all 'busy busy busy' around here and there's not a whole heap of spare time. I didn't really want to look at your showcase from reasons I've already said, but it really sucks when you've worked so hard on something and no-one can find the time to take a look.

So, I popped your mod in, and I unfortunately straight away ran into a problem. The problem is (sort of...) that you can only start it if you haven't already told Vivec about the death of Almalexia. Once you tell Vivec that Almalexia is dead, he simply says "Death comes to all mortals -- and we're all mortal now". So, I can't start this quest on ANY of my save games atm (I promise I will go and make a new save now so I can test the quest right now) because Vivec just says that awesome line.

Also, before I even got the quest, Vivec had the topic 'Twin Blades'. When I asked him about it, he was all like "You don't have the right materials, asshole!". This would be okay, but at this point as a player I don't know anything about the topic. You might want to enforce some extra variables to ensure it doesn't pop up.

Well, now that I've gotten those out of the way, I will go and load up an old save and try and test for real.

Re: your question...you can use the
player-> removeitem "whatever" 1

but I'm not sure if you can add items to containers...but it must be possible because Fargoth does it in Seyda Neen during that Lighthouse Spying Quest. Perhaps take a look at what the function there does. You could always do an 'disable/enable' script and put an container in identical coordinates with the new item, while disabling the original container. Play around with it, I'm not too sure.

[MSam]

Okay, I ran through it, and it's very impressive.

A couple of things to remember. The Greeks do not exist in the realm of Nirn, but 'Greek Fire' is just a name, and in theory anything could be a Greek in a fantasy world. Also, the bed in the Dwarven ruin would never be there, but since it's just to show off your fantastic skills, I don't think it really matters - especially since this is only a showcase.

Typos:

(Topic: 'Almalexia') "...there is one thing I have to tell you ..."

There shouldn't be a space for the ellipsis.

(Topic: 'Almalexia'?)I see you hold the Blade of Nerevar and it's twin

Should be 'its' twin, since the apostrophe means that you mean to say 'blade and it is twin'.

(Topic: Greeting)Did you found the Greek Fire and the Eel Juice needed to upgrade the Blade of Nerevar and it's twin, Hopesfire?

Should be 'did you find' because found is past tense and we haven't found it yet. It's again implies it should read 'it is twin' rather than the possession of being twins. Also, the comma at the end implies that you are addressing the question to Hopesfire (the actual sword), or you're referring to the player to be called 'Hopesfire'.

Pretend there's a shop called 'Hopesfire' (lol). It's like someone saying to you "Did you get the milk from the shop, Hopesfire?". In that sentence you're implying that 'Hopesfire' is the name of the person, rather than saying "Did you get the milk from the shop 'Hopesfire'?" which shows that it's the title or name of the shop.

Hope that made sense.

(Topic: 'Almalexia') As for the Eel Juice, I think you can find it on Solstheim, in Hrotmund's Bane.

Here, you've misspelled Hrothmund's. Also, minor nitpick, the Juice is actually in 'Hrothmund's Barrow' (the Bane is the exterior area, the Barrow is the interior)

(Topic: 'Twin Blades')You do not have the correct items to upgrade Hopesfire or Trueflame yet.

Not really a typo, but throughout the ENTIRE quest you refer to 'Trueflame' as 'The Blade of Nerevar'. That's okay, but you shouldn't switch between the two. Pick either 'The Blade of Nerevar' or 'Trueflame', and then stay with that title throughout.

(Topic: 'Twin Blades')How are they going along?

This isn't a typo, it just sounds...really cute. Perhaps I feel it doesn't fit in with the rest of the dialogue, being so thing and simple. Maybe something more indepth like "You've found the Greek Fire and Eel Juice needed to enchant the Twin Blades, Nerevarine. They have been restored to their original formidable power". Something a little more unique perhaps, but it's okay at the moment.

It's just everytime I re-read it...I imagine Hopesfire in a pink dress, waiting at home to skip through a sun-lit garden to hug Trueflame at the gate, as if he'd come home from Timbuktu, or even a municipal courthouse two blocks away.

(Message Box: The Drink was poisoned very badly!)

This sentence doesn't read right. 'Drink' doesn't need a capital letter. If you wanted, you could refer to it by its title, and say 'The Drink of the Gods was poisoned...'. 'Very badly' sounds very clumsy. It's just a problem with how you've placed the words, perhaps try putting the verb after, so something like 'The drink was very badly poisoned' would be better. Also, we're going to die, no need to be obnoxious. I can just imagine a little Gremlin yelling 'UR GONNA DIE!!' with that exclamation mark at the end. It seems much more sudden and dramatic if you get rid of the exclamation, but I guess it's just a nitpick.

(Topic: Journal)I gave Vivec Hopesfire and Trueflame and he made them stronger, faster, more energetic and hotter.

OMG! I serious want to sleep with these blades! This description...is seriously sexy. Again, it's not a typo, but you're basically personifying these blades as companions (don't we all want someone strong, fast, energetic and hot in our lives?). I'd say get rid of energetic (I know, it implies it has more stamina - perhaps write 'more durable' or something) and just can hotter.

Also, just some random trivia, but most people think in 'list-of-threes'. Odd numbers just seem to appeal more than even numbers, dunno why.

Scripting:
You're 'Strange Sword' was FANTASTIC! The only thing I would like you to change is that the sword only operates its script if it's equipped. Other than that, you've executed a really complex script function and I'm really impressed! You've shown you understand how to have random outcomes, including modding stats and disabling certain functions while operating a timer. Excellent job here!

Now, your bed script. I'd be all over it, but does this functions the way you want it to..? This is a really delicious concept - you suddenly need to rest to 'level up'. Everyone levels up, so yay! When you rest, it turns out someone is actually out to get you...yah, I can definitely see this working.Regardless, activating the bed, and it turns into a monster? Fantastic!!! I am REALLY impressed by this one! If you could add some kind of magical effect - you know when you go near the statues in Mortag Glacier and they have that weird light? That's the kind of transitional thing I'd *like* to see, but regardless, this is really impressive stuff.

The Bittercup inspired/God poison was a good example too, good job. I checked and there was another script - Become Warewolf?

So...
While you have a number of typos, most of them are minor or subject to my preference. I'm assuming English isn't your first language, so this is a great attempt regardless.

Your scripting is fantastic. You've shown a great competency in this area and I don't think you need to showcase anymore of that. Really, really impressed. These are scripts that could have entire quests built around them, so I'm thrilled with your work.

I doubt you'll need to show us whatever you're currently working on, because this is substantially sufficient work. If you could clean up those typos, in addition to the conditions I mentioned about about starting the quest, I'd have absolutely no problem with recommending your promotion to becoming a TR modder! So, I'm eagerly waiting.

Also, sorry again about taking so long to review. Thanks for being so patient!

[Haplo]

Msam, I agree with you, but saying "blah blah, Hopesfire" would actually be correct as well. Commas are employed to signify a pause. Saying "What are you doing, son?" is just as fine as saying "What are you doing son?" and might even be preferred, because it sounds less robotic. But as I said, your suggestion is also correct and works fine

[MSam]

Yah, it's all preference. I'd bet 99% of Morrowind users won't really care or pick up on it. For the 1% Grammar Nazis who do, I hope their monocles fall off from the shock...

[Bloodthirsty Crustacean]

Sorry for the delay, I assumed Greatness was working on this one, so hadn't really taken a proper look until now.

Right, Jonaman, regardless of MSam's very kind review, there is a major issue here - you are not a native English speaker.

In any other area of TR, that's hardly a problem, but in quests you are dealing with a hell of a lot of dialogue. Indeed, every single piece of non-book writing the player sees in the game will be coming from us.

In the past, non-native-speaking questers have caused ridiculous amounts of trouble through the sheer quantity of non-stop correction and readjustment needed to be made to every claim they make. This is an unfortunate truth.

As expected, your .esp (and some of your writing here on the forum) contains plenty of errors. Each one of those would have to be corrected by someone (given the way this mod has functioned for the past two years: probably me).


From Sam's review, it sounds like you are a good scripter. So the main thing standing between you and promotion is dialogue. I am not willing to promote you if your english is not at a standard where it can be included in the mod without constant correction. If you want to proceed with your questing showcase, please post up a file with lots of dialogue (and try and make it Morrowind themed please, rather than stuff about 'greek fire' and 'eel juice') and make sure you proofread it thoroughly. When you're sure you've got rid of every last typo and error, post it up and I'll take a look. If there are still plenty of errors, I would suggest you look at another department for modding.

[The Greatness]

Sorry, sorry! I've been writing quests. Lots of 'em. And exploring quest locales. And other excuses like that.

I really hope you can improve your English and join our team Jonaman. From what MSam says you're a really talented quester. There are lots of other non-native English speakers in our quest team so it's possible, but you will be making a buttload of dialogue as a quest so fixing it all is a pain. Maybe you could apply for something else and while going through that process and working here hopefully pick up better English from the forum.

[Jonaman8]

I'm sorry! I'm an annoying fourteen old kid who always thinks he can do something, but later it seems I'm even worse than my granny. If you think fourteen is too young to be modder, I'll back off. This is only the second year I'm getting English at school, and like a surprising amount of members, Dutch is my first language. If it's alright with you, I'm going to fix the errors and finish what I've been working on. After that I will make a dialogue-based quest. Thanks to everyone who was reviewing this file. I'm so sorry your efforts are maybe going to have been for nothing.

[SamirA]

Nobody said you were annoying. In fact we want you to brush up on your English so that you will be able to quest for us as you seem to be quite competent at scripting. I hope your dialogue showcase works!

[Jonaman8]

I said I was an annoying teenager.

[Thrignar Fraxix]

I'm sorry! I'm an annoying fourteen old kid who always thinks he can do something, but later it seems I'm even worse than my granny.

Everyone starts somewhere

If you think fourteen is too young to be modder, I'll back off.

Haplo was younger when he started, and there have been many other younger people who have had long and productive modding careers.

like a surprising amount of members, Dutch is my first language.

This has always perplexed me as well

If it's alright with you, I'm going to fix the errors and finish what I've been working on. After that I will make a dialogue-based quest.

Sounds like a good plan. I really REALLY hope you get a prompt review when you next submit a file.

Thanks to everyone who was reviewing this file. I'm so sorry your efforts are maybe going to have been for nothing.

If you have learned anything from the reviews then they haven't been for nothing. This is aside from the fact that I am sure you will be promoted.

[Lady Nerevar]

I was promoted to Head of Reviewers (moderator) when I was only 13. Age really has nothing to do with it.

[blackbird]

It's not really age, but also that jonaman hasn't had much courses English at class.

BC is right and I presume everyone will agree with him, but it would always moan that a good scripter, who can't write the English language well, can't be promoted to TR modder.

@ TF: The Dutch-speaking (there are 2 European countries where Dutch is an official language) can only buy the English version of almost any game. There are a few games with dutch tranlation, but I don't know a RPG with dutch voices or subtitles.
I guess Dutch-speaking players find their way more easily on the international sites and forums.

[Haplo]

Jonaman, I would suggest putting your dialogue into a document and running a grammar and spelling check on it, using the American English dictionary/rules. If you don't have Microsoft Word, you can use Open Office (which is free).

[Jonaman8]

Can somebody tell me what's wrong with this script:

Code: Select all

Begin TR_SC_m0_q_0_dalamus

short doOnce
float timer

if ( GetJournalIndex TR_SC_m0_Misc_Twin_Blades_b == 10 )
	if ( CellChanged == 1 )
		SetFight 30
		StopCombat
	endif
	if ( OnDeath == 1 )
		Journal TR_SC_m0_Misc_Twin_Blades_b 120
	endif
	if ( OnKnockOut == 1 )
		SetFight 30
		StopCombat
		ForceGreeting
		Journal TR_SC_m0_Misc_Twin_Blades_b 20
	endif
endif

End

What it needs to do is: An actor attacks you (trough dialogue). Works If you kill him, you get a journal update. Works If you murder him, (kill him without him attacking you first) you don't get the journal update. Works If you knock him out, he stops fighting Works, he talks to you Doesn't work and you get a Journal update. Works

So I get 2 bugs: The ForceGreeting doesn't work and if you leave the cell, the game crashes.

[Jonaman8]

Sorry for double-post, but otherwise nobody reads it.
I fixed the crash-bug, but the ForceGreeting-bug stays. I had to remove the actor's summon spells. But, I have another question: I want everyone who is in Vivec (included the people inside) to have a specific answer on a topic. I know how to add one cell, but I don't know how to add more cells. Can somebody help me?

[Why]

If you filter for Cell == Vivec everyone in cells beginning with Vivec will get access to your topic. So in all cells called Vivec but also in, for instance, "Vivec, Foreign Quarter Upper Waistworks".

[Jonaman8]

Thanks, know anything about the ForceGreeting?

[Why]

NPCs can't initiate dialogue when they're knocked down, try to build in some delay so that they forcegreet you after they're back up, or forcegreet before they're actually knocked down and just on, say, 20% fatigue?

[Jonaman8]

All right, I'm finished, but before I release the showcase, I got some final questions:
- My grammar check says it has to be No, thanks you. instead of No, thank you. Which one is right?
- I don't want to set the curses on the sword only when it is equipped because otherwise you could pick it up and sell it for a large amount of gold.
- What did you mean with random trivia? The damage of the upgraded Blades?
EDIT:- I tried several visual effects for the cursed bed, but it doesn't seem to work. The one used by the werewolf statues cannot be used because it produces a werewolf sound.

[Andres Indoril]

"No, thank you." is correct.


I know nothing else about this thread so I shall wander away.

[The Greatness]

1- What Andres Indoril said.
2- Umm... cool. That's not really a question is it?
3- Random trivia is just stuff that's nice to know but isn't that important. What MSam was saying is that adjectives sound better when grouped into threes, like 'bigger, better and stronger'. It's just nice to read.
4- I haven't player your quest, so I don't really know what this cursed bed is. It might be better to avoid visual effects: they're hard to script and can look a bit cheesy and 'moddy'. Especially a bed. Just use a message box if you're having trouble.

EDIT: oh, and can a mod change the title back, it's starting to annoy me.

[Jonaman8]

So I think I'm going to upload it. It's the same as before, but it has been fixed, and if you kill Vivec you can continue although it will be much harder. Maybe very hard, but hey, you're the Nerevarine, you killed Dagoth Ur, Almalexia and Vivec. I'm expecting the player to be experienced and high-leveled. The console is needed for only one thing, the test skull. I added Jonaman8 Test Cell to 'More Test Cells'. When you're there, just activate the bowl (or whatever it is, it just looked good) to get the Journals, Topics and Items. Continue through the right doors so you don't have to travel all the way.

I hope it is OK, I think (hope) there are no typos and errors, it has been play-tested (by me) several times.

[Jonaman8]

Bumping time!

[The Greatness]

Is that a week already? I've got this sitting in my data files folder, been meaning to test it.

[Jonaman8]

Why don't you join on IRC?

[The Greatness]

I dunno... I never really got round to getting any IRC bclient, plus all these /whatever things confuse me. I ought to get it some day. What clients do you guys use?

[Katze]

I use Pidgin, I believe TF does too.

[Scamp]

YAY for mIRC.

[Jonaman8]

I used XChat, but after the 30 days I tried mIRC, it didn't work on my computer so now I use XChat-WDK.

[Lady Nerevar]

mIRC. Love it.

[Bloodthirsty Crustacean]

Okay, I checked the file and the dialogue is at least relatively typo free (one or two slipped through, but that's true for everyone).

Given MSam's earlier confidence in your scripting, which is a very strong asset (where'd he go, anyway?) I'll promote you.

I note you use a Global variable in this file: in TR we generally try and avoid those wherever possible - and it is usually possible to avoid them through some trick or other. This is just a protocol kinda thing, not a major problem.

An admin can come and give you yer titles and wotnots when they see this.

[Haplo]

Congratulations Jonaman8, welcome to the team!

[Jonaman8]

Thanks, now I can finally help completing the quests.

EDIT: If you don't mind, which were the typos? That way I can avoid them in the future.

EDIT 2: Where can I find the mainland plugin? Because I heard that it is better to use those.

EDIT 3: Sorry for all the edits, I found TR_Mainland, but should I download the .esm, .esp or both?

[MSam]

Yay, well done Jonaman8! I'm really looking forward to seeing some of your collaborative work, especially the scripting.

(where'd he go, anyway?)

I hated saying 'no' to people, so I wanted to steer clear of the showcase forum for a bit.

[Why]

The .esm

welcome, good to have another scripter/quester!

[Scamp]

Congratz!

[Katze]

Well done!