Jpwenz54's Showcase - new interior... Again

jpwenz54 · Post by **jpwenz54** » Mon Jan 09, 2012 12:22 am

It's an interior and a quest That I think will shows that I have some skill ive played it ive checked for errors (I probably missed some). Give me tips on how to improve
Please download
SEE BOTTOM FOR NEWER VERSION

Talias · Post by **Talias** » Tue Jan 10, 2012 9:31 am

Hi, just a few words about the interior - although it looks nice you should probably make a new one - 2x3 interior using de_p furniture (to show your ability to use gridsnap and rotating items), it doesn't need to be linked with exterior. If you do, pay attention to lightning values and "Illegal to sleep here" box. The interior should also be cleaned with TESAME (it's all kinds of dirty).

I can't say anything about the quest, hopefully someone will review it soon.

jpwenz54 · Post by **jpwenz54** » Tue Jan 10, 2012 2:29 pm

Thank You i'll do that

jpwenz54 · Post by **jpwenz54** » Wed Jan 11, 2012 1:43 am

I just added on to my sunken shack and didnt make a new place but i cleaned out my interior and my quest.

jpwenz54 · Post by **jpwenz54** » Wed Jan 11, 2012 11:59 pm

Is this going to get reviewed soon

Lady Nerevar · Post by **Lady Nerevar** » Thu Jan 12, 2012 12:08 am

Since you left before I could answer on irc: Patience. It's been three days since the original post, and only one since the last file. Additionally, your current interior does not fit the showcase guidelines, as Talias pointed out.

Mortimer · Post by **Mortimer** » Thu Jan 12, 2012 12:37 am

Am I allowed to criticize / give advice yet?

There's quite a few things wrong here:
1. Absolutely TERRIBLE grammar and punctuation. I don't remember seeing much capitalization, commas, or even periods for that matter.
2. The dialogue given to start the quest tells you nothing about where to go, just that his "friends" are near Seyda Neen. Thankfully the journal knows where to go without being told.
3. The slave script is broken, and triggers all three journal entries after freeing just one of the three slaves.
4. Adnarji (the quest giver) still asks if you've done what he's asked after completing the quest. It should be obvious, given his coinpurse is 500 coins lighter.
5. You've used Addamasartus, the bandit cave outside of Seyda Neen as the quest location. Not sure why but this isn't a major point.

jpwenz54 · Post by **jpwenz54** » Thu Jan 12, 2012 1:24 am

Yeah i know about the script mortimer but ive tried different things to stop that but i just cant figure it out and i know about my grammar and spelling. ill be fixing it

Bloodthirsty Crustacean · Thu Jan 12, 2012 1:43 am

To step in here:

on the quest, J, it simply will not be possible for someone with your level of grammar and spelling to helpfully contribute to the mod.

Unless your writing style is just something you put on when on the internet (your Literature showcase seemed somewhat more coherent, but still with big errors), this isn't something you can fix. If it is something you can drop, please start using proper grammar and spelling on the forums too, otherwise I have no indication it's worth checking out your files.

None of the above in any way will stop you from doing a successful interior showcase! If you want to help out the project, there's plenty of work to be done there too!

jpwenz54 · Post by **jpwenz54** » Thu Jan 12, 2012 1:49 am

I'm Working on a new Interior and the grammar is just something I do on the Internet but anyways the thing I'm having trouble with is the script I've gone through and fixed some errors on the quest and hopefully it works right

jpwenz54 · Post by **jpwenz54** » Thu Jan 12, 2012 1:55 am

Sorry for rushing you guys to review it

jpwenz54 · Post by **jpwenz54** » Fri Jan 13, 2012 5:06 am

New interior seperate from the one i did before the script on my quest has been frustrating me so i gave up for now but heres my new interior

Talias · Post by **Talias** » Fri Jan 13, 2012 9:15 am

I took a quick look.

First thing, you should never use items ending with UNI, because they are quest items. Now for other things. Nothing placed on de_p furniture is rotated to match surface (you should really look closely at the furniture and notice that surface is uneven). You are using de_p and de_r furniture together. You're also using the beforehand mentioned furniture together with imperial interior. No northmarker. Same I said before - unchanged lightning values and illegal to sleep unchecked. Door aren't visible and one potion is flying outside the interior. And finally the interior is quite large and there isn't enough furniture and clutter to fill it. You should either make interior smaller or add more stuff (for example, rugs or tapestries).

I would recommend staring slow and simple - 3x2 in_hlaalu interior using de_p furniture.

jpwenz54 · Post by **jpwenz54** » Fri Jan 13, 2012 8:12 pm

I Thought I put a north marker in it but ill take your word for it and I covered the door on purpose. and i really dont understand about rotating to match the surface i dont know what that means but ill work on the things you said thank you for reviewing
Do you really want me to do a new interior because if you absolutely think I should I will

jpwenz54 · Post by **jpwenz54** » Fri Jan 13, 2012 9:57 pm

ok this is the same interior. I added a northmarker (Turns out you were right) took out the floating potion, the door is visible, added some tapestries and rugs, I matched everything with its surface, Changed Lighting values and checked illegal to sleep here, Switched out All the De_r furniture except the wine rack, took out all of the chairs with UNI at the end, and lastly I Cleaned it with TESame

Mwgek · Post by **Mwgek** » Fri Jan 13, 2012 10:38 pm

Checked the file.

File is dirty, the objects above temp refs should be cleaned.
Northmarker: Yes
Illigal to Sleep: Yes
Lightning values: Yes

Remarks:
Looks clean and tidy, maybe a little to clean and tidy. Also placing De furniture in an Imperial Fort is not really something to do. Could use more detailing and more accurate rotation on the shalves, desks and tables. Since these surfaces are curved (look at the image below). Try to vary the size of the object. And rotate them in different directions, this makes a home more lively.

Overall: Needs more detailing and training on rotation/placement. If I may give a suggestion; try a smaller 3x2 redoran/hlaalu home with poor furniture.

Picture for additional info:
[url=http://imageshack.us/photo/my-images/337/55901842.jpg/][img]http://img337.imageshack.us/img337/8273/55901842.th.jpg[/img][/url]

jpwenz54 · Post by **jpwenz54** » Sat Jan 14, 2012 12:27 am

Ok i Finally took your advice and made a hlaalu house I cleaned it and made lighting values, made sure everything matched its surface and Its illegal to sleep in, Has a North Marker only De_p Furniture so i hope it's good

Talias · Post by **Talias** » Sat Jan 14, 2012 9:22 am

It's clean, the northmarker is placed, illegal to sleep is checked and you've set more suitable lightning values. So that's good. I didn't look at floater and bleeders though.

Currently the interior is quite empty. You should look at hlaalu interiors that are already in game, maybe Balmora or Suran, for inspiration and place more stuff. You don't have any tapestries, also sacks, baskets, urns, large chests. You could use more clutter, for example bottles, dishes glasses, and other worthless stuff that fills shelves. Another thing is wallscreens (furn_de_r_wallscreen), you could use them to separate the room, at least so bed isn't visible straight from doors. There could also be more light sources (lamps, lanterns, candles). So basically, you should fill the room more.

jpwenz54 · Post by **jpwenz54** » Sat Jan 14, 2012 6:29 pm

Added some clutter: Tapestries, Bottles, Sacks, a chest, Candles, Etc.
And I put in wallscreens
and made sure it was clean hope it's good

SamirA · Post by **SamirA** » Sat Jan 14, 2012 6:39 pm

I have not looked at this file yet, but from the comments in this thread it seems you are improving and that is the point of a showcase. I just wanted to encourage you to keep trying, as you are on the right path.

jpwenz54 · Post by **jpwenz54** » Mon Jan 16, 2012 12:13 am

Added more clutter and items and urn some sacks, chests, etc.

jpwenz54 · Post by **jpwenz54** » Mon Jan 16, 2012 10:52 pm

Thank you everybody, for your reviews they have realy helped me.
Bump

Mwgek · Post by **Mwgek** » Tue Jan 17, 2012 2:42 pm

Triple posting is not getting this reviewed faster. I will see if I can look into this soon.

jpwenz54 · Post by **jpwenz54** » Wed Jan 18, 2012 10:55 pm

Thank you MWgek I hope you find it worthy of a recommendation

Lady Nerevar · Post by **Lady Nerevar** » Thu Jan 19, 2012 1:00 am

It's looking much, much better than your first file, but there are still minor issues to look into.

-the flin in the bedroom is sunk significantly into the dresser, obscuring its base. A little bleeding like this is fine, but not quite so much. The candle next to it only touches the surface on one side, rotating it along the X axis places it correctly. Same thing with the jewelry chest (its also a bit weird that the opening side is facing the wall, rather than the person who would open it).
-the Wolf Queen books on the shelf could also be rotated to match, and the Poison Song raised to not bleed into the shelf quite as much. The pot can also be rotated slightly to fit better.
-jug and goblet on side table bleed into the table. You've used a _float variant of the jug, which is meant to be placed in water and is attached to a script to make it bob. Replace it with a regular jug.
-rich (_r) wallscreens in a poor (_p) interior
-bed needs a pillow
-the fork and redware pot on the table are floating.

As I said initially, you've gotten much better. Conforming to the skewed surfaces of lower class furniture still seems to be something to work on. Other than that, pay general attention to the detailing. You probably also want to think of a personality, job, or history for your occupant, which will help to create a more interesting, living interior. Since you've already made three corrections to this file, you should start a new one. Keep in mind what we've pointed out and you should do fine

jpwenz54 · Post by **jpwenz54** » Fri Jan 20, 2012 12:55 am

Ok lady N i made this new interior,
Illegal to sleep checked
lighting values changed
northmarker
checked for bleeders and floaters
and i put alot of clutter in it

also i looked around suran and balmora and I did see r_Wallscreens with poor furniture sometimes
so here is what i hope my final update.

Talias · Post by **Talias** » Fri Jan 20, 2012 8:41 am

North marker: yes
Lightning values: yes
Style mixing: partly
Clean: no (when you placed the books in de_p_chest_02_gold_25, you placed them in every chest with such ID, not just that one specific chest, what you should do is create a new chest with unique ID and place the books there)

Drawers:
Light_Com_Candle_01 bleeds
misc_com_wood_cup_02 bleeds
chest_small_01_ingred10 one side bleeds other floats

Shelf:
light_de_candle_13_64 bleeds
misc_de_goblet_08 bleeds
misc_com_redware_pitcher bleeds

Small table:
misc_de_goblet_03 bleeds
light_com_candle_07_157 bleeds

Table:
misc_de_goblet_08 bleeds
misc_com_bottle_12 bleeds
misc_com_metal_plate_05 floats
misc_de_bowl_redware_02 should bleed a bit

Desk:
BookSkill_Acrobatics2 bleeds
sc_paper plain floats
Misc_Quill floats
Misc_Com_Bottle_14 floats
misc_com_wood_cup_01

Bookhelf:
misc_com_redware_platter floats
misc_com_bottle_10 floats
misc_com_bottle_10 bleeds x3
Misc_Com_Redware_Cup floats x2
misc_com_plate_03 floats
misc_com_plate_08 bleeds

Comments: All the items listed above except for those on shelf bleed or float because they aren't rotated. There is no other way to align them well enough, than select them and rotate them manually on X and Y axes. Three skill books in one interior is a bit too much. In_hlaalu_door can be replaced with in_hlaalu_loaddoor_02. You have placed some imperial items - metal plates, wood cups, common plates, lantern - that can be replaced with suitable dark elf items. And finally there is a lot of free space, you could easily place everything that is necessary for another person to live there, or remove 2 - 3 interior pieces.

jpwenz54 · Post by **jpwenz54** » Sat Jan 21, 2012 9:21 pm

replaced alot of the imperial items with dark elf items
rotated alot of the items to match the surface cleaned it (good this time) added some more things to it to make it more cluttered

jpwenz54 · Post by **jpwenz54** » Sat Jan 21, 2012 10:06 pm

added more stuff sacks, spoons, Lights etc.

Talias · Post by **Talias** » Fri Feb 03, 2012 8:42 am

Clean, northmarker set, lightning values set, there is still a bit style mixing, specifically there is still one wooden cup that should be replaced or removed.

Drawers:
misc_com_wood_cup_02 bleeds
chest_small_02_gold_50 bleeds

Bookshelf:
potion_local_liquor_01 one side bleeds other floats
misc_de_bowl_orange_green_01 bleeds x3 (although it's fine that they bleed, they should all bleed the same, and also should be rotated to match the surface)

Little table:
light_de_candle_13_64 bleeds

Table:
misc_com_redware_plate one side bleeds other floats
light_de_candle_07_64 bleeds

misc_uni_pillow_01 should bleed more x2