Winter Solace [ADDED]

Post by **Haplo** » Sun Oct 31, 2004 2:28 am

Winter Solace
Horatio Gargonath

The snow gently fell on the mountain pass

All things were covered and shimmered like glass

In the distance, stood but a single young doe

As the forest revealed its icy show

Fir trees were bent - in reverence - they bowed

Rabbits remained hidden beneath the tree's shroud

Icicles hanging, a lustrous cascade

A light wind blowing a melodious serenade

The mountain streams were now covered in ice

It was winter's welcome to paradise.

---
Edited Version.
06.3.NM.NM.NG

Jacurutu · Post by **Jacurutu** » Sun Oct 31, 2004 2:57 am

I'm not sure about the existence of does and rabbits in Tamriel, but otherwise a nice, mellow poem.

Dreadmaster Errtu · Post by **Dreadmaster Errtu** » Sun Oct 31, 2004 3:00 am

Instead of rabbits, it could be scribs!

or huge rats...or mudcrabs...

Post by **Haplo** » Sun Oct 31, 2004 3:03 am

oh... I thought they were in Cyrodiil and Skyrim...oh well. That's why we have reviewers

EDIT:

In line six, the added dashes mean this:

Fir trees were bent - in reverence - they bowed

This is because the reader can see this in two ways.

- Fir trees were bent in reverence...

- ...In reverence they bowed

Vegor · Post by **Vegor** » Sun Oct 31, 2004 3:05 am

Yeh there are rabbits. I believe they might be even in parts of Morrowind, though I think we should hold them until Skyrim. But they do exist.

Jacurutu · Post by **Jacurutu** » Sun Oct 31, 2004 3:15 am

Nevermind, I found out that all the major mammals of RL are in Tamriel, just not in Morrowind.

Vernon · Post by **Vernon** » Tue Nov 02, 2004 9:43 am

OK, here goes:

Winter Solace
Horatio Gargonath

The snow fell gently on the mountain pass

All things_covered, shimmering like glass

In the distance, stood but a single young doe

As the forest revealed its icy show

Fir trees were bent, in reverence they bowed

Rabbits remained hidden beneath the tree's shroud

Icicles hanging, a lustrous cascade

A light wind blowing its melodious serenade

The mountain streams were now covered in ice

It was winter's welcome to paradise

Nice poem, haplo

Jacurutu · Post by **Jacurutu** » Wed Nov 03, 2004 4:55 am

Thanks for the edit, Vernon. I'll let haplo decide if he agrees with all of the changes.

Morden · Post by **Morden** » Wed Nov 03, 2004 6:50 am

Great poem

If i might suggest something.... it would be beneficial to choose which tense you wish to write in, and stick with it throughout the poem. Past or Present.

For example, Present Tense:

The snow falls gently on the mountain pass

All things covered, shimmering like glass

In the distance, stands but a single young doe

As the forest reveals its icy show

Fir trees bent, in reverence they bow

Rabbits remain hidden beneath the tree's shroud

Icicles hanging, a lustrous cascade

A light wind blowing its melodious serenade

The mountain streams are now covered in ice

It is winter's welcome to paradise

Post by **Haplo** » Wed Nov 03, 2004 2:22 pm

Yes I accept vernon's changes, and have made corrections. I've also fixed the tense. (to present, I think)

Morden · Post by **Morden** » Fri Nov 05, 2004 1:25 am

Heh.. the tense is a bit wonky still, but it really doesn't matter... only picky Lit. students like me probably notice. Its all good.

Jacurutu · Post by **Jacurutu** » Fri Nov 05, 2004 1:31 am

It all appears to be past tense now (I assume you just mistyped "present"). Anyway, sounds good to me. I'd appreciate it if you wrote another poem or two to go along with this one with matching themes.

Post by **Haplo** » Fri Nov 05, 2004 3:47 am

I'll try. Do you mean you want them to be season-themed? Or nature-themed? Or winter-themed? Or what?

Mirabell · Post by **Mirabell** » Fri Nov 05, 2004 4:51 am

Just a thought, as a former student of latin poetry, are you sure those slight changes didn't edit the Iambic Pentameter by which your poem was structured upon?

Sometimes things sound better when they stay according to the right number of syllables in each line.

Post by **Haplo** » Fri Nov 05, 2004 4:55 am

no, my poem is not structured on Iambic Pentameter. I said for part of it, it goes with Iambic Pentameter. Just be glad I didn't write an Epic in Dactyllic Hexameter

Jacurutu · Post by **Jacurutu** » Fri Nov 05, 2004 5:29 am

Yeah, gotta love the Aeneid.

Anyway, I'll let you choose the theme. Season themed would be nice . . . four poems to match the seasons. That will make sure the book isn't too short. But, the choice is yours.

Post by **Haplo** » Fri Nov 05, 2004 2:23 pm

I work on some season themes.

I'll see if I can't dig up an autumn-themed poem I did a while ago. It was a little on the long side, but it's good.

Jacurutu · Post by **Jacurutu** » Fri Nov 05, 2004 11:15 pm

Sounds good; I like long poems just as much.

Morden · Post by **Morden** » Fri Nov 05, 2004 11:56 pm

Ya.. long is good... something along the lines of Homer's Illiad.

Post by **Haplo** » Sat Nov 06, 2004 5:15 am

Oh man, I was talkin about 1500 pages, not 700...Maybe I should make an abridged version...

vrover · Post by **vrover** » Sun Nov 07, 2004 8:57 pm

Quite nice poem, Happen. Yeah, I think the present-tense sounds a bit more dynamic, past-tense sounds like a report.

Incidentally, we're assuming Nords are like the Vikings, right? Well, has anyone written a Nordic Saga yet? I think the Vikings were pretty big on those. I wouldn't mind doing one.

Post by **Haplo** » Mon Nov 08, 2004 3:15 pm

We are not assuming that the Nords are like the Vikings. We are assuming and realizing their similarities, but they are not the same.

P.S. my name is haplo12345, not Happen.

Starcrunch · Post by **Starcrunch** » Wed Apr 20, 2005 12:27 pm

The individual version of this in BoT is what is posted here, but it was edited again when the entire collection of 4 poems was finished, this is likely the case in for all 4 of Haplo's poems. The text of these poems, individuals copies need to be edited to reflect these changes (or at least the titles need to be updated to show possession as they do in the newer versions):
[url]http://www.tamriel-rebuilt.org/old_forum/viewtopic.php?t=10180[/url]

-Starcrunch

Tamriel Rebuilt

Winter Solace [ADDED]

Winter Solace [ADDED]

Winter Solace

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