-You don't have any failsafes for if the player kills any of the people without it being planned.
-Marlene the name sounds too mordern for me, but that might just be me.
-Outright rejection if you fail to help them seems too harsh, maybe give the player a second chance to play the quest?
-A custom greeting for if you advance and stuff helps, so I don't have to search 100 places on the right to find the dialogue topic.(Or NoLore this particular guard, but Dialogue seems nice.).
-Selyn is not South East, it is south/south west.
-I cannot let Marlene know that the thief is nowhere to be found, no dialogue works.
-There is no dialogue for if you get the Journal on Marlene.
-If you got the book, but somehow sold it or lost it, the dialogue continues in infinite loops on Llendyl.
-There is some lag when you talk about Outlander women after giving the journal.
-Minor thing, the door on the cell isn't unlocked, and if you wait inside the watchtower, Marlene somehow disappears if you get out and come back.

-PositionCells seems off sometimes, specially if the distance is so low. It would be bettter if he was just always there, to be honest as there is no reason for him to be not.
-Same with the smuggler pilgrim, have a choice to kill him before even talking to Marlene, then stumble to Marlene for the reward.
-I'm not sure whether it works or not, but the 'set....to' shouldn't be inside DoOnce or it will be permananent, but it worked while waiting, so maybe not.
-TR_VorynJournal->TR_m3_VorynJournal
-TR_m3_Llendyl Darothan has respawn checked. A named NPC shouldn't respawn imo.
-Clean the quest please.

The Journal Book
-'Carmana is gonna drive me nuts! How many times do I have to tell her that we must obtain some jewelry for tomorrow shipment, not those ponderous weapons! Guess I'll have to do this by my own, as always, what a bunch of sucklings! Alright, Voryn, just this shipment and you're going to be in Narsis, just put on this foolish robe, you stole from a temple few days ago and go fishing.'
    jewelry->jewellery
    Narsis, just->Narsis. Just
    no comma needed after robe.
    no one would write the you stole from a temple part IMO.
-'Hah, that's how the professionals work! Apparantly, that outlander women has got herself into some real problems with the guards, at least some moral consolation after the hours of toying with that foreign scum. Narsis, here comes your new self-made noble! '
    self made noble sounds a little bit Hyperbolic to me.
    I didn't understand the moral consolation part, as he toyed with the foreign scum, not the other way around
fun seems more appropriate.

Journal Entries
-'In the chapel of Roa Dyr I've heard some rumors about drunk outlander women, that has been insulting common folk along the road recently and is now kept in watchtower dungeons for misbehaviour.'
    I've->I
    no comma needed after women
-'In the Roa Dyr, Watchtower I've spoken to the prison guard, who asked me for help with the outlander prisoner, that has been annoying him for quite some time.'
    I've spoken->I spoke
    no comma needed after prisoner
-'I've accepted prison guard's offer. Now I should speak to the annoying outlander women, the guard told me about.'
    no comma needed after women
-'I refused to help a prison guard.'
    a->the
-'Marlene, the prisoner in Watchtower dungeons, told me that the reason for her misbehaviour was the local, who has been drinking with her and stolen her family amulet subsequently and that her lockdown cause was a pure accident.'
    no comma needed after local
    has been->had been
    her lockdown cause->the cause for her locdown
    on that note, lockdown feels off, capture seems a good alternative.
-'I've told Marlene, that I'll think about her proposal.'
    no comma needed after Marlene
    I've->I
-'I've agreed to help Marine proof her innocence and retrieve her family amulet'
    proof->Prove
    full stopp/period at the end(I may have missed this in other places, so you might need to check it a bit.)
-'The prison guard rejected to free Marlene, as there are no evidence to back her story. I should go back to the prisoner and explain the situation.'
    no comma needed after Marlene.
    are->is
-'Marlene suggested me going to the farmstead near the main entrance to Roa Dyr and find the local farmer, who called the guards on Marlene for the information about the thief'
    suggested me going to->suggested me to go to.
    comma after farmer not needed
-''Ulon, a farmer in Eravan told me that the thief ran southeast of the place, off the road. He suggested me going to Selyn farmstead and asking the locals there' 
    The place is south/southwest, not southeast.
-''In Selyn, the local farmer told me that he's seen a man in pilgrim robe running in the direction of Rilsoan village. I should ask the locals there to locate the thief.'
    He's seen-> he saw.
    in pilgrim robe->in a pilgrim's robe.
-'In Rilsoan, one of the locals said that the thief is the smuggler from the local gang with the hideout in Massanud cave, located past the road, west of the village.'
    no comma needed after cave.
-'After I've dealt with the smugglers, their leader has proposed me a deal to leave him alone and get 300 gold as "the reward for my curiousity".'
    I've->I
    has proposed->proposed 
    the reward->a reward
-'I've declined thief's proposal and was attacked immediately. I've killed the fake pilgrim, now I should search for the evidence that would proof Marlene's story and her family amulet.'
    'I declined the thief's proposal. The thief attacked me immediately' sounds better
    I've->I
-'Looting the thief's body, I found his Journal, that might be eligible to proof Marlene's story'
    proof->prove
    no comma needed after jornal
-'A day has passed, now I should meet Marlene at the Crossing of Lamps'
    passed, now->passed. Now
-'I've met Marlene at the Crossing of Lamps and retrieved her family amulet. She thanked me greatly for all that I've done for her and rewarded me with 500 gold.'
    I've->I
    retrieved her family amulet->gave her thefamily amulet back
-'I've met Marlene at the Crossing of Lamps and told that I've not found the amulet. She was a bit upset and gave me only 50 gold as the reward.'
    the second I've should be I'd or I had
    first I've->I
-'I've told Marlene that the thief is gone and nowhere to be found. She was greatly upset.'
    I've-> I
    is->was
-'The prison guard has told me, that I've worsened her situation and that I should not expect any reward.'
    has->(nothing)
    no comma needed after me
    I've->I

Greeting 1
-'Good, I'm glad that we understood each other.' 
    understood->understand
-'Greetings, adventurer. I'm quite impressed by your combat abilities, but I presume you're not here by accident. I knew, that some of that villagers sooner or later would rat on me. This is why I don't like this place. These Indoril are so humble and law-abiding, so boring for me. I'll be quick here, I don't want to spill the blood and I can reward you for curiousity with, say, 300 gold, and you let me flee to the Narsis instead. Deal?'
    no comma after knew
    'sooner or later would'->'would sooner or later'
    'I can reward you for curiousity'->'I will reward you for your curiousity' I personally don't like the curiousity part.
    300 gold sounds gamey to me. Maybe 300 drakes or some gold?

Greeting 5
-'What do you want? Trying to pick a *hiccup*  fight with me? I'm ready whenever you are!'
    *hiccup* for cursing feels too gamey. Some cursing should be fine I think
-'Hello again, %PCName. I think it's time we discuss your reward for helping me.'
    I think you should ask about the amulet only in prison/give some hints in this greeting that she wants it.
-'What are you doing here, outlander? Can't you see that I'm busy here? Though...I think you can be of some help, regarding that annoying outlander women, I'm stuck with here.'
    the comma after help is not needed.
    women, I'm stuck->woman. I'm stuck
    here->her

outlander women
-Woman
-outlander women is kinda tricky, as outlander is also a topic and could mess things up a bit.
-'It will be more than fair, as I'm not hiring a mercenary here, but asking for a help rather gently.'
    to be honest, you shouldn't have the option as this is kind of redundant.
-'Very well then, the prisoner is over there, she's the only one we have right now, so you won't miss her.'
    over there, she's->over there. She's
-'But since you're an outlander, just like her, I might offer you a deal here. How about you deal with her problem and stop my torturement for the reward in gold?'
    But shouldn't be there.
    torturement->torture
    the reward in gold->some reward/a reward.
-'Interested? Well, then here is the thing. The redguard women, locked in here few hours ago, has caused me a headache due to her screaming and whining all the time. Normally, I would have dealt with this in a more brutal way, but since she's yelling about her work at the Imperial Archaeological Society, I can't do a thing, as no one wants a confrontation with the Empire here in Roa Dyr'
    no comma needed after women(woman should be there)
    no comma needed after ago, normally
    the empire shouldn't have in jurisdiction here, but okay i guess.
-'She's over there, go speak with her and don't waste my time.'
    there, go-> there. Go
-'Excellent! You really ought to speak with that prison guard and explain this situation to her, as she refuses to listen to me by any means.'
    really ought to-> should
-'Please, take your time, but don't take it for too long, as I don't want to be stuck here any longer'
    take it for too long->take too long
-'Now that you know the story, could you help me in retrieving my amulet from that filthy scum and getting me out of here? Since I work for the Imperial Archaeological Society, I have some funds, so you won't be offended by the reward for your efforts.'
    won't be offended seems too official, I will reward you generously seems better.
-'I could not control my emotions and blasted out on him, mentioning some racial abusive stuff, I can't even recall for now, which the local farmer took as the offense on himself and called for guards, that were patrolling the area in the meantime,  they have taken me down and thrown me in the dungeons afterwards.'
    racial abusive stuff feels too mordern imo
    blasted out on him seems odd
    commas after stuff, guards are not needed.
    in the meantime->at that time
    have taken-> took
    thrown-> threw
-'Let me tell you, how did I get locked up here. I came in this lands in order to participate in my colleague’s wedding in Othrensis and went to the tavern in Almas Thirr to take a break. There I met a pretty handsome-looking Dunmer, which pretended to be a pilgrim. We've drunk a solid amount of sujamma and flin together and decided to go to Othrensis together. Walking near the Roa Dyr chapel, that dude suddenly snatched my family amulet, I've inherited from my mother and ran away with it'
    did I get->I got
    came in these lands sounds weird.
    drunk a solid amount of->drunk a lot of
    dude feels too mordern for Morrowind, person seems nice? Or something derogative?
    amulet, I've inherited-> amulet that I inherited
-'Yeah, I'm that notorious women, %PCRace. You were sent by that *hiccup* of a guard to calm me down? I am telling you this, I don't know about you, but I'm completely innocent here, that harridan doesn't even want to listen to me! If you really wanna get this *hiccup* miserable reward and even some more, then you really wanna help me out first!'
    harridan again feels too mordern.
    I don't know about it seems off.
    you really wanna-> you should/need to
-'I don't know what you've told her, but now it's even got worse. You have utterly failed my request, though, what else could I've expected from an outlander.'
    you'vr->you
    it's even got->it's gotten
    though-> but
    I've expected-> I expect
-'Have you already spoken to her?'
    Did you speak to her? sounds better.
-'These wretched guards! How could I possibly make this story out, what a blather! Looks like you'll have to find that thief's location, as this is the only solution I can think of right now. You should go and speak with that offended farmer, who called the guards on me in the farmstead, on the road to Roa Dyr main entrance and ask him about this fraud's location. Please, %PCName, you are my last resort right now!'
    story out->story up
    road to Roa Dyr main entrance-> main road into Roa Dyr sounds better imo
    %PCName, you->%PCName. You
-'Hmm...The story sounds quite believable. However, as I am just the executer here, in order to free that women I'll have to present some evidence to the Hall of Judgement to make it trustworthy for them. Until you have any, I can not set this prisoner free.'
    executor->executioner
    trustworthy->believeable/nothing?
-'Do you have something to proof the prisoner's innocence?'
    proof-> prove
-'Oh, I think that is a pretty solid proof to the story, I have no doubt, that the Hall of Judgement will release the prisoner after I present this evidence to them. Thank you for your services in enforcing the justice here, outlander. Take it as your reward.'
    services->service
    story, I->story. I
    no comma needed after doubt
-'Oh, that's really unfortunate. Anyway, thanks for your efforts, take this gold as your reward. I've got to go to the wedding now.'
    efforts, take->efforts. Take
    got to go sounds mordern slang, need to go sounds better.
-'I cannot express my gratitude for freeing me, $PCName. Though, thief must have had my family amulet. Did you find it at thief's hideout? It means a great deal for me, as it is the only thing, that reminds me of my mother.'
    $PCName should be %PCName
    Though seems off again.
    no commas needed after me, thing
-'Please, hurry up, I still have a wedding to attend.'
    no comma needed after please
    up, I->up. I

I might've missed some stuff.

thief's location
->'Why would I speak about such matters with you?'
    there are actually dialogue refusal dialogues already for dispositions, so you didn't have to do it, but if you     want to, it's fine
->Yeah, that was quite a scene to remember! Imagine me, doing my chores and then suddenly hearing the things, that I didn't believe even an outlander tongue could utter without a stop. When the guards appeared, that dreadful women seemed like she has only just begun. I barely even saw the pilgrim, running fast as a lightning in the southwestern direction from here. You might ask around in Selyn farmstead, maybe they know better.'
    fast as-> as fast as
    has->had
    maybe they know better->maybe they know something.
    no commas needed after me and things