There are a couple of typos and, possibly, stylistic errors in HH dialogue:

Style: "Now some eggs have started to go bad and the whole warehouse reeks of rotten eggs." <-- Maybe replace the first 'some eggs' with 'some of these'. Or, delete the last 'of rotten eggs'

Typo:  "I need you to count who many crates..." <-- replace 'who' with 'how'

Style: It is odd that in the first sentence in the last paragraph of the screenshot above, Nalvyna refers to her staff as "my boys", whereas in the next sentence, she refers to them as "useless staff". One or the other should be changed so that her stance towards them is clear.

Style: this may be very subjective, but I feel "fills the room" sounds much less clunky than "is filling the room"

\Style: "soo much paperwork" <-- possibly best to change it to "so"