I've had a quick look in CS. No playthrough yet. My notes:

General Writing Notes

You've got a lot of double-spaces in various places. Perhaps these were copied out of another document? Anyway, no double-spaces please. Apart from that, writing is very nice.

NPCs / Objects

• Capitalise names of NPCs in ID.

Scripts
Departure script - Note that CellChanged fires when the player enters the cell, but not when they leave. This won't make any difference for your quest, but it's worth keeping in mind for the future. Also you've got him not Disabling on Journal == 105 - that's the journal index for if you lie to the guy, not for if he's dead. Should be 110.

Journal
10

• "a member of the scholarly organisation known as the Kenassa tong" -> a member of the Kenassa Tong. The way this is written assumes the player doesn't know what the Kenassa Tong is. If they don't know what the Kenassa Tong is, they can click on the topic to find out. "
• Badrum -> Bodrum

20

• Badrum -> Bodrum
• "He says he was last seen" -> "He says the courier was last seen" for clarity
• "Perhaps that's where I should start my search." -> Delete, unnecessary editorialising.

30

• "I found the ring Tyacalo was expecting on his body" -> "The ring Tyacalo is expecting was on the courier's body." Repetition of I found and clarity.

40

• "He said I could consider the coin I found in his purse my payment" -> "He said I could consider as payment the coin I found in the courier's purse." for clarity

90, 100

• "He handed it to me" -> "He returned it to me"

110

• "With him dies whatever research he was conducting that drew him to the ring, and any hope of me getting paid for helping." -> delete, editorialising.

Dialogue
Greeting

• "Oh, I suppose you’re trying to talk to me.  I am quite disposed at the moment, pondering.  I seek to continue my studies, but I really can’t move on until I have that ring from Ramaran." -> rewrite, this is weird. The initial greeting is odd, and disposed is not the correct word. The language "I seek" is probably too formal.

Background

• "My present travels involve a certain line of research I will comment on when the time is right." -> this is kinda a weird thing to say. Not sure what he means by this.

Latest rumours

• "There’s a scholar staying long in the tradehouse, one Tyacalo Vando." -> "There's a scholar staying in the tradehouse, one Tyacalo Vando."
• "There’s a scholar over by the bar, Tyacalo Vando someone said his name was.  He seems anxious to leave." -> "That scholar over by the bar, Tyacalo Vando, -- he seems anxious to leave."

Ring from Ramaran

• Tyacalo's response for if the player brings the ring while not on the quest will show up when the player responds yes to the quest. This is fine, but his dialogue maybe needs to be rewritten to make it clearer what's happening. It's entirely possible the player picked up the ring 30 hours ago and has no idea what's going on. You should probably have different results for the quest offering if the player has the ring already, where they can choose whether or not to return the ring.
• "You should search the area around the bridge near that outpost the Lord Ramaran mentioned, Kartur Outpost." -> "You should search the area around the bridge near that outpost the Lord Ramaran mentioned."
• "Excellent. Allow me to... so, you HAD the ring, and now you do not? It should seem the solution here is self-evident, %PCName. Return when you are in a less trifling mood--with my ring." -> "So you FOUND the ring, but do not HAVE the ring? It seems the solution here is self-evident, %PCClass. Return when you are in a less trifling mood -- with my ring."
• Cut the "hmmmm"
• "I take my leave of this sorry place shortly, and send no complements to the Lord Ramaran." -> this can probably be cut, the previous sentence is cutting enough.
• "Do hurry, %PCClass.  My scholarly journey is more important than worldly concerns, and I begin to consider you may be wasting my time." -> "Do hurry, %PCClass. The Lord Ramaran and his inept courier have wasted enough of my time already."
• "I have sent a courier to deliver it." -> "I have dispatched a courier to deliver it" more formal, less repetition of the send word.
• "According to my retainers, he was last seen heading east across the bridge by Kartur Outpost.  It’s on the road between here and the Hlaalu squatting in Omaynis.  His name is Teyril Belvethran." -> "His name is Teyril Belvethran. My last reports of his whereabouts, from the guards at Kartur Outpost, have him crossing the bridge near there. It’s on the road between here and Omaynis."
• "So he has died? I will dispatch a warden to retrieve his body at once. I grieve for him, but we Redoran are known by our deeds, and he died performing his duty--there is no higher purpose." -> "Teyril Belvethran is dead? I will dispatch a warden to retrieve his body at once. I grieve for him, but we Redoran are known by our deeds, and he died performing his duty -- there is no higher purpose."
• "What's this--you found Teyril's body, the ring and letter still on him? I will dispatch a warden to retrieve his body at once. I grieve for him, but we Redoran are known by our deeds, and he died performing his duty--there is no higher purpose." -> "What's this? You found Teyril's body, the ring and letter still on him? I will dispatch a warden to retrieve his body at once. I grieve for him, but we Redoran are known by our deeds, and he died performing his duty -- there is no higher purpose."
• "That ring the scholar kept looking at? To think it would wind up getting somebody killed." -> "My father sent Teyril on that errand at my suggestion, and now he's dead. I wish I'd never mentioned that ring."
• "An unfortunate affair--settled, as far as I’m concerned." -> cut this, and then just filter the other dialogue from the guards to < 40.