Boethiah's Showcase

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Boethiah's picture
Boethiah
Joined:
2022-12-30 06:27
Last seen:
1 year 11 months ago

I am submitting a showcase for a quester and asset developer but for now this thread will be my quester showcase.

I have done a quest for a claim for TR: Material Matters 

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Package icon TR_MaterialMatters.zip4.07 KB2023-01-05 02:51
FlinSunset's picture
FlinSunset
Senior DeveloperQuest Reviewer
Joined:
2022-10-05 00:13
Last seen:
9 hours 43 min ago

Playtested the quest, here's my report:

  • Some of your dialogue entries have weird punctuation. Try to reconsider where you put dots and commas.
  • The Nord is not placed anywhere in the world, your ESP even doesn't have any location edits. The script works correctly, though.
  • If you're introducing a new topic, use "addtopic" to make sure it always gets delivered to a player
  • If you introduce a new topic alongside a journal update, always make sure that topic is available at the previous journal stage (in your case, it's Torasa Fols). Otherwise, it won't appear as a hyperlink on vanilla engine.
  • Try to avoid "I should do X" in journal entries. Journal shouldn't contain player's thoughts, it should only have pure information. There are a few exceptions to this rule (mostly in the MQ and Bloodmoon), but they are either necessary for storytelling or just bad practice.
  • Add T_Local_Nolore = 0 and TR_Map = 4 filters for generic dialogue. First condition means that nolore npcs won't have this dialogue. Second one means that the npc should be initially placed in map 4 to receive this dialogue (for example, your followers won't have it this way)
  • Since the path to the Grey Lodge lies through Menaan, it might be a good idea to mention Andothren->Menaan silt strider route in dialogue. Do it as you see fit.
  • "I have been more careful" dialogue entry sounds a bit weird if you see it immediately after completing the quest. Change it to "I will be more careful" or something like that

Typos:

  • armour -> armor, use American English
  • The Grey Lodge topic: rightt -> right
  • Journal 20: enchament -> enchantment
  • Rorth Salt-Back topic: Armun Ashland -> Armun Ashlands
  • Messagebox: Amorer -> Armorer

Also, take a look at the TR style guide and try to stick to it where you can.

 

UPD: One more thing: the quest should become finished if you kill the smith. Add a new journal stage and set it on his death, if the quest is currently active.

Boethiah's picture
Boethiah
Joined:
2022-12-30 06:27
Last seen:
1 year 11 months ago

I have updated the esp to fix the errors and use your suggestions.

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Package icon TR_MaterialMatters.zip4.07 KB2023-01-05 02:52
pralec's picture
pralec
Senior DeveloperWriting ReviewerExterior DeveloperQuest Reviewer
Joined:
2022-04-18 15:48
Last seen:
19 hours 19 min ago

Here's some more feedback:

The script you've made is functional but unnecessarily complicated. You don't need to declare a local and set it to the index of the journal. You can just check the journal with if ( GetJournalIndex [Journal_ID] < [Index]. Otherwise good work on the script, it does exactly what it needs to do.

Please take a look at the style guide. There are some recommendations in there which would help your dialogue to feel natural.

At the moment a lot of the dialogue feels very functional, like the characters are telling you where to go because that's the next stop on the quest. But the smith should send you to the enchanter because he remembers that Rorth said he wanted to get the gear enchanted. And the enchanter should send you to the Grey Lodge because she remembers that Rorth was planning on going to the Ashlands. Also the Nord in the Grey Lodge says that Rorth is without honour - why? You don't even necessarily need the Nord to explain why, but at the moment the way he says it feels like he's just dropping a detail for the sake of it. If he really felt like Rorth was some honourless cur, he would talk about him differently.

Lastly, can you move Rorth somewhere else? Put him near the Kagouti or in a ravine or something. At the moment it's kind of weird to just run into him on the road. Finding him should require at least a little bit of exploration and going off the beaten track.