Deenday's Quest Showcase

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(Reply #1) Posted on Sun, 2023-04-16 03:20
Deenday's picture
Deenday
Interior Developer
Joined:
2023-01-06 22:16
Last seen:
1 week 2 hours ago

Miscelaneous quest on Darvonis (Sundered Scar redo)

Title: Muck Business

NPCs: Loryn Rothras, Nurlyn Mirdes

The quest will be given by Loryn Rothras

1: If the player decides to talk to Loryn, he will ask for the player's time to help him out a bit, and if whether or not the player could fetch a muck shovel he left for repairs at the shop of the blacksmith, Nurlyn Mirdes (Denying will end the quest). After agreeing to it, Loryn will tell the player where Mirdes' store is.

2: Nurlyn Mirdes will be a regular merchant, and once the quest is started, a dialogue topic for Loryn's shovel will be added and the player can now ask for it. After asking about the muck shovel, Mirdes will give the player Loryn's shovel to give it back to him.

3: After going back to Loryn and giving his shovel back, you'll get a disposition increase from him, and he'll ask for one last favor from the player and ask you to go with him to the shore south of the city, where all the muckspunges are (If you deny to help him, he'll thank you for your past help and give a smaller reward).

4: Once the player arrives with Loryn to the shore, he'll ask to help them out by clearing the spunges from the slaughterfish surrounding them (Quest will end if Loryn gets killed by the slaughterfish, or if he dies too). After killing the last slaughterfish and talk to Loryn, he'll thank the player for all his help and give him drakes and muck as a reward (plus a disposition increase).

Used Addon and the Sundered Scar section file.

Edit/Update 18-04: Changed Nurlyn Mirdes' location and his profession from merchant to smith (shop is TR_Darvonis_11), and also changed Loryn's dialogue to fit changes. I'll be creating a quest object for Rothras' shovel (Just a muck shovel with different ID) and work on the scripts for him to follow the player to the shore, and for the slaughterfish to spawn right after reaching the shore.

Edit/Update 04-05: Added quest item (Loryn Rothras' Shovel) and finished half of the quest, the other half will be all the scripting section. Gotta make a script for Rothras to either have him make his way on to the northern shore that's in the town by himself once the player gets the journal entry 55 and wait for the player to go whenever, or follow the player to the shore to continue the quest. Then another script for the slaughterfish to spawn after player gets the journal entry 60 (Disable/enable script).

Edit/Update 11-05: Currently pulling my hair out trying to figure out how to get Loryn to move from Darvonis to the northern shore (Sundered Scar Region 22, -17). Was recommended to place the AIEscortCell command on the dialogue results box, and I do think that's the correct way to go, now I just got to see what's keeping the command from triggering during the playtest

Edit/Update 14-05: Showcase is ready for review.

AttachmentSizeDate
Binary Data TR_Deenday_Q_showcase.ESP19.05 KB2023-05-14 05:33
(Reply ) Posted on Mon, 2023-05-22 04:40
Mortimer's picture
Mortimer
Senior DeveloperQuest Reviewer
Joined:
2016-06-10 21:48
Last seen:
1 week 2 days ago

Hello!

Review notes:

  • you don't add a latest rumors topic, but it's a requirement
  • New creature is lacking a soundgen (open the creature and set its sound to be the slaughterfish sound)
  • I haven't playtested in game yet
  • don't linebreak in journals/greetings/topics
  • the quest should realistically only use 1-2 topics at most. keeping one topic per 'subquest' is probably the way to go.

Scripts

  • Your npc script names need to follow TR format TR_m4_NPC_npcname
  • Neither NPC script has the required TR variables (you should be using the generic TR map script as a base
  • using onceDo as a script variable name gives me acid reflux
  • there's no quest-specific reaction to deaths, if you added these checks for the scripting requirement the implication is that the quest npcs would care if you killed the other one.

Dialogue

Journal

  •  the last time they meet. -> met
  • (I was asked by Loryn Rothras to get his muck shovel. He brought the shovel for repairs to Darvonis' smith, Nurlyn Mirdes. He doesn't want to get his shovel personally, as he's had an argument with Mirdes the last time they meet.) overly verbose. journals should be minimum length if possible (Loryn Rothras asked me to get his muck shovel from Nurlyn Mirdes in Darvonis after an embarassing argument.)
  •  from retrieving -> in retrieving
  • ( also asked to tell Loryn that there were no hard feelings towards each other.) -> I would just say "asked me to apologize to Loryn". the journal doesn't always have to be 1:1 if it captures the essence of what's asked.
  • We arrived at the shore south to Darvonis -> of Darvonis
  • don't line break journals
  • (I declined Loryn's final request, then thanked me for my help and payed me.) -> so he thanked me
  • payed -> paid
  • (I accepted Loryn's final request, and went together to the southern shore.) -> superfluous comma. "
  • Next few topics, same comma issue

"help me out" Topic

  • you could probably lock the initial quest dialogue to 30 disposition so he doesn't ask someone he hates for a favor
  • "help me out" -> too generic of a topic. It's "help me" with an extra commonly used word in the phrase. Something like 'my muck shovel' would be better. you use 'muck shovel' later, so just combine the two into one topic
  • uuhh -> standardize to "Uh" or "uhh", never two u's.
  • Uncapitalized i's (since i used too much force)
  • Phrasing could be improved (According to Nurlyn Mirdes when I spoke to him on Morndas, my shovel should be ready. -> When I spoke to Nurlyn Mirdes on Morndas, my shovel should be ready by now.")
  • slight overuse of adverb phrases (I mean I'd go get myself but I, uuhh... sort of got into a pointless argument with him about handle measurements last time, and it feels kind of awkward to face him like nothing happened.) can be greatly reduced and improve dialogue conciseness. I get that the guy is embarassed about the argument but too many "well you see" "kind of" "sort of" "I mean" "uh..." can reduce readability. I would write this as "I'd go get it myself but I sort of got into a pointless argument with him about handle measurements and it feels awkward to face him like nothing happened."
  • pointless continue after that last phrase (Do you think you could spare some of your time and get my shovel for me from Mirdes' shop?), this should be combined into the previous section
  • missing period after "have a good day"
  • maybe a contentious use of 'goodbye' when you refuse. I don't know why he would be so pissed after you say you're in a hurry and won't do him a favor lol. maybe he's a bit of a jerk
  • You don't need to line break mid-dialogue (happens three times in 'help me out' topic)
  • Why does his line introducing the next favor about mucksponges have a goodbye?

nurlyn mirdes topic

  • I don't think this topic is necessary overall. It doesn't give you any information you don't already know.
  • don't linebreak
  • remove uuh
  • the entire town having a response to the smith dying is very funny but unnecessary
  • the entire town having a response to the smith and fisherman's argument is very funny but unnecessary. this would go under latest rumors for the town with a rewrite

muckspunges topic

  • unfiltered initial entry on Loryn, you will see this before starting the quest if someone has said the word 'muck shovel'
  •  even if they're sometimes pretty trivial. -> they're pretty trivial
  • againg -> again
  • I'll try be careful -> try to be careful
  • you should have a choice or something to apologize on his behalf. it sounds like from this dialogue that Nurlyn does all of the apologizing first
  • payed -> paid
  • linebreaks

muck shovel

todo

greetings

todo

loryn rothras topic

todo

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