Hi all,
Please see attached for my quest showcase. This is my first time using the CS, so feedback welcome.
Summary
This quest - A Debt Unpaid - is a follow-up quest to Fargoth's Hiding Place. It takes place in Seyda Neen and involves assisting Hrisskar Flat-Foot in recovering a debt from Mathieu Luscne - a Breton petty thief that lives in Seyda Neen.
You can start this quest in several ways:
1. Complete Fargoth's Hiding Place by turning over Fargoth's stash to Hrisskar. To jump straight into the quest, use these commands once you're out of the introduction, then speak to Hrisskar:
Journal "MS_Lookout" 40
Player->AddItem "Gold_001" 300
2. Find the engraved Dwemer goblet in Addamasartus.
Summary of Quest Steps:
Hrisskar Questline
0. (Optional) Hear about Mathieu Luscne borrowing gold through 'Latest Rumors' in Seyda Neen.
1. Ask Hrisskar Flat-Foot about Mathieu Luscne's Debt after completing Fargoth's Hiding Place and agree to help him recover the debt. Hrisskar will suffer a small disposition hit if you repeatedly refuse to help him.
2. Visit Mathieu Luscne in his house at the edge of the Seyda Neen. Either accept the quest or refuse.
2a. (Optional) If you refuse, you have the option to assist at a later date. Relaying Mathieu's story to Hrisskar will have some unique dialogue but isn't necessary to progress the quest.
3.Visit Addamasartus and recovery the engraved Dwemer goblet from a sack, which is hidden behind some crates by the water at the bottom of the cave.
3a. (Optional) Ask the Khajiit slave, Baadargo, about the engraved Dwemer goblet. He will tell you where it is if his disposition is high enough. This is easily achieved through freeing him but isn't strictly necessary.
4. Return the engraved Dwemer goblet to Mathieu Luscne. He will offer you 100 septims or training in Short Blade and Sneak (1 level in each). He will ask you to return in 24 hours after he has sold the goblet.
4a. (Optional) Returning to Hrisskar at this point will have unique dialogue but isn't necessary to progress the quest.
5. (Optional) Almost every NPC* in Seyda Neen can now be asked about the engraved Dwemer goblet. They will point you towards Mathieu Luscne or to Balmora.
*Members of the Imperial Legion, Hrisskar, Nils Hollow-Hand and Mathieu Luscne do not have this dialogue.
6. (Optional) Travel to Balmora and ask about the engraved Dwemer goblet to be pointed towards House Hlaalu in the Eight Plates and Hasphat Antabolis in the Fighter's Guild. Hasphat Antabolis will suggest turning the goblet over to the authorities. Patrons of the Eight Plates will point you towards Arvena Verothi.
6a. (Optional) Sell the goblet to Arvena Verothi for 200 septims, which completes the quest. Returning to Mathieu Luscne and informing him of this will make his disposition drop significantly and he will refuse to engage with you further. Hrisskar also has unique dialogue.
7. Alternatively, wait 24 hours and return to Mathieu Luscne. He will give you 300 septims to give to Hrisskar. he will also give you a clue about the location of the Thieves Guild in Balmora.
8. Return the gold to Hrisskar, who pays you 100 septims. This completes the quest. Both Hrisskar and Nils have unique dialogue to account for this.
Alternative Questline:
1. Find the engraved Dwemer goblet in Addamasartus.
2. (Optional) Almost every NPC* in Seyda Neen can now be asked about the engraved Dwemer goblet. They will point you towards Mathieu Luscne or to Balmora.
*Members of the Imperial Legion, Hrisskar, Nils Hollow-Hand and Mathieu Luscne do not have this dialogue.
3. (Optional) Travel to Balmora and ask about the engraved Dwemer goblet to be pointed towards House Hlaalu in the Eight Plates and Hasphat Antabolis. Hasphat Antabolis will suggest turning the goblet over to the authorities. Patrons of the Eight Plates will point you towards Arvena Verothi.
3a. (Optional) Sell the goblet to Arvena Verothi for 200 septims, which completes the quest. Returning to Mathieu Luscne and informing him of this will make his disposition drop significantly and he will refuse to engage with you further. Hrisskar also has unique dialogue.
4. (Optional) Speak to Mathieu Luscne and offer him the goblet. He will pay you 100 septims and get a disposition boost. This completes the quest.
5. (Optional) If you accepted the quest from Hrisskar, did not speak to Mathieu Luscne, recovered the goblet from Addamasartus and returned it to Mathieu Luscne to complete the quest, then Hrisskar will have unique dialogue.
Killing Mathieu Luscne:
1. Killing Mathieu Luscne at any point during the quest will trigger a journal entry. Searching his body will reveal the 100 septims he would pay you, if he hasn't already.
2. Going back to Hrisskar will cause him to take the 100 septims off you, suffer a large disposition hit, and refuse to speak to you any further. Nils will also have unique dialogue. This will complete the quest.
2a. Killing Mathieu Luscne after receiving 300 septims following the sale of the goblet will cause Hrisskar to take all 300 septims off you and refuse to speak to you any further. This will complete the quest.
2b. Returning to Hrisskar with no money will cause him to have a larger disposition drop and refuse to speak to you any further. This will complete the quest.
Killing Hrisskar Flat-Foot:
1. Killing Hrisskar Flat-Foot at any point during the quest will trigger a journal entry and complete the quest. Mathieu Luscne will have unique dialogue. If you leave and return without killing Nils Hollow-Hand, he will attack you next time you speak to him.
NPCs Added / Modified:
(Addition) Mathieu Luscne. He owes a debt to Hrisskar Flat-Foot and cannot afford to pay it back. He lives in a house in Seyda Neen, beside Fargoth's house. He is associated with the Thieves Guild. He offers training in Security, Short Blade and Sneak up to level 39.
(Addition) Arvena Verothi. She is a member of House Hlaalu who is one of the few who can appraise and deal in Dwemer artifacts under Imperial law. She is from Narsis and vising Vvardenfell. After the quest is complete, she will be disabled after 48 hours to simulate her returning to Narsis.
(Addition) Nils Hollow-Hand. A Nord barbarian who acts as muscle for Hrisskar. He's a man of few words and points you towards Hrisskar. His dialogue, though brief, does change depending on the choices made. If you kill Hrisskar and escape, he will attack you the next time you speak to him.
(Modified) Hrisskar Flat-Foot: Additional dialogue added to expand on his role as a loan shark / local bully. Questgiver.
(Modified) Baadargo: Additional dialogue added to point you to the engraved Dwemer goblet.
Scripts Added:
TR_m0_q_Arvena: A timer script that disables Arvena Verothi 48 hours after quest completion to simulate her returning to Narsis. Note that you need to load her in for the first time (by entering the Eight Plates) before the script will start running. This will occur in all quest endings.
TR_m0_q_Goblet: A script to update your journal when you activate the sack in Addamasartus. The journal entry received will depend on whether you learned of the goblet from Mathieu Luscne, or if you found it randomly.
TR_m0_q_Hrisskar: A death script to trigger the relevant journal entries when Hrisskar is killed and to set his ControlQ.
TR_m0_q_Mathieu_Luscne: A death script to trigger the relevant journal entries when Mathieu Luscne is killed, when his body is searched, and to set his ControlQ.
TR_m0_q_Sale_Goblet: A timer script that updates your journal once 24 hours after returning the goblet to Mathieu Luscne.
Items Added:
Exterior / Interiors Added:
Notes:
Journal written in past simple tense.
Items, NPCs, Scripts and Quest named in TR format.
Latest Rumors about Mathieu Luscne in Seyda Neen are filtered randomly.
TR Map 0 scripts added to unique NPCs.
ControlQ is used on Hrisskar Flat-Foot to ensure that you do not receive a journal entry unless you explicitly accept the quest.
ControlQ is also used on Andrew Luscne so that you do not receive a journal entry unless you explicitly agree to help him.
ControlQ is also used to give you alternative dialogue if you sell the engraved Dwemer goblet to Arvena Verothi then speak to Mathieu Luscne about it.
All scripts formatted.
Cleaned in TESame.
2023-04-16 18:05
30 min 36 sec ago
Hello, thank you for submitting your showcase.
First of all, if this is your first time using the CS, this is a really good effort! The implementation is very robust, all of the scripts work as they should, and I haven’t managed to really break the intended progression of the quest during my testing. Well done!
The writing is also very good. You seem to have a firm grasp on the English language, and the dialogue style fits right in with Morrowind’s. I have almost no complaints about the dialogue. The quest progression is also structured very well - everyone who I would expect to have some dialogue about the quest has it and there’s a good number of alternative paths, that, again, Just Work. Again, you’ve done a really good job!
However, there’s three main things that we should fix/improve before I can recommend you for promotion, being:
So let’s dive into them, shall we?
Cleaning the fileYour ESP dirties a number of vanilla objects that you’ve used to make Mathieu Luscne’s house.
First of all, I’m not sure if you’re already using it or not, but I highly recommend installing CSSE, which on its own helps to drastically reduce the number of dirty references that you create accidentally.
Second of all, a good practice is cleaning your file with tes3cmd, which will get rid of the vast majority of these accidental edits for you automatically. In your case, it solves the issue almost completely, except that the file also contains a new container with the id “rand” that, as far as I can see, isn’t used anywhere. That one you need to delete in the CS manually.
As an aside - I’m not going to ask you to change this since it doesn’t really matter for the quest review, but just FYI, during actual development, if you want to add a, let’s say, a house for your quest, this needs to be done as a separate claim that would be reviewed separately from your quest. You could do both, of course, but it has to be done separately and you would have to pass an interior development showcase first.
Journal updatesMorrowind is slightly different from the later Bethesda games in the way that its quests don’t include journal updates for every little thing that the player does. Arguably this sometimes means that Morrowind’s quests can be a little harder to keep track of, but it’s a design philosophy that we try to follow. As an added bonus, this means that your job is much easier since you don’t have as many journal stages to account for when filtering dialogue.
So here I’ll list the journal stages of your quest that I think should be cut or combined:
I’ll go through these one by one.
A general point, though, is that you don’t really need to indent the script lines between “begin” and “end” with the one tab as you’ve been doing. It doesn’t have any functional impact, but it just looks kinda weird 🙂
Another general point is formatting of brackets. You should always include a space at the start of the bracket and at the end. Meaning, instead of (DayTarget > DaysPassed) it should be ( DayTarget > DaysPassed )
TR_m0_q_Arvena
Fake edit: Okay, only after reviewing the other scripts in the file, I think I understand your intention here. Am I right that the intention is that you want to disable Arvena two days after certain things in the quest happen? In that case you should move that logic to a global script, and just give the NPC a generic map 0 NPC script.
TR_m0_q_Goblet
TR_m0_q_Hrisskar
TR_m0_q_Mathieu_Luscne
TR_m0_q_Sale_Goblet
This script is fine, except for indentation and the bracket formatting as I mentioned at the beginning of this section.
Misc nitpicksSome other stuff I found during the review. Usually trivial, but for the sake of completeness, I’ll point it out for you to fix as well.
I think the list of issues here probably reads a bit more intimidating than it is in reality, and I’m confident that you’ll be able to pass the showcase soon :) If you have any questions, please don’t hesitate to ask in our #showcase-shadowgate channel.