Hi, thank you for submitting your showcase! :)

Overall you've done a good job, especially when it comes to writing and playtesting. From the players' perspective, the quest works fine and is intuitive. However, I think the implementation suffers from the fact that the quest is sort of deceptively complex and as a new quest developer, you probably don't know the full scope of tools at your disposal.

So together, we should try to simplify the implementation a fair bit, mainly the amount of journal entries :) Like I already told you on Discord, this isn't a full review and we'll focus on the main points first.

First, to answer your questions from the Google doc:

• I get two journal updates when bringing Ravos to Autrinix Residence (Check his script starting at GetAIPackage)
  • Probably just some engine quirk in regards to how AI packages are handled. Just add a GetJournalIndex < 70 check before you update the journal to resolve this.
• Too much back and forth maybe. Could add a stage where you escort Ravos to a closer location first (Ancestral tomb?)
  • I think the quest as it is is fine in this regard. I wouldn’t change it.
• If you speak to Ravos first (10) then speak to Ulyne (15) and then speak to Ravos again you will get both the similar journal entires (10) and (18)
  • Easy fix is to remove 10 altogether. Talking to Ravos shouldn’t update the journal immediately. You should only trigger the journal update if the player agrees to help him. In other words, remove journal entry 10 and keep only journal entry 12.
• Do I setmap at the beginning or end of the script?
  • End of the script, always if possible.
• Is SetHealth 0 on Ravos going to work when he’s placed further away
  • Yes, it should
• How to handle the choice b/w Ulyne and Drerayn. Currently telling Ulyne Ravos is alive (60) locks you out of agreeing to kill Ravos (30), but you can still lie to Drerayn that you will kill Ravos and then tell Ulyne (60). Being able to go both ways would be too complicated imo, as I’m an unsure how the player would be able to lie to Ulyne after telling her the truth
  • Right now, the quest sort of breaks if you do this. If you agree to kill Ravos for Drerayn and tell Ulyne Ravos is alive, and then kill him, the journal is updated to stage 65, Ulyne’s dialogue doesn’t change (she still tells you to bring Ravos to the manor ASAP), and Drerayn doesn’t give you any reward.
  • This obviously needs to be fixed somehow. You could do this with usage of globals, but honestly, a much better way would be to restructure the quest journals somewhat - more on that later.
• How to handle calm/command humanoid on Ravos/Drerayn during fight
  • This is an edgecase I don’t think is worth covering, but if you really want to, you can add a Greeting 1 to Drerayn that would just make him attack Ravos again..
• How to handle Ravos Dieing in these circumstances, How to handle bringing Ravos to Ulyne
  • I’ll elaborate on these later since I think it’s basically the same thing.

One major point from my side:

• The quest, as it is right now, pretty much works well from the player perspective (barring some edgecases, like the one where you agree to help both Ulyne and Drerayn), but the different routes are very hard to keep track of in the CS since you crammed them all into one journal ID. This also evidently caused you issues during implementation, since it forced you to filter your dialogue like this: 
• 
• You also have four different journal updates for Ravos’ death and three different journal updates for Drerayn’s death. Some of these could definitely be handled by Dead dialogue filters instead. Some of these could be instead handled by splitting the journal into subquests (quests with a different ID, but the same quest name).
• I think the journal entries could be dramatically simplified if you’ll just:
  • Remove all of the journal updates on death (45, 50, 65, 78, 80, 105) except for 110 and 125. These, I believe, are the only “unwinnable” scenarios in the whole quest. Technically 125 isn’t, since you could still finish the quest with Drerayn, but for simplification I’d suggest that Drerayn just attacks you if you kill his wife and talk to him.
  • Use dialogue filters for Dead >= 1 instead of the journal entries I just listed.
  • Split the journal entry 30 into its own subquest. Then, in dialogue with Drerayn, you can just check if Ravos is dead and you have previously accepted Drerayn’s offer (e.g. TR_m7_ShiSha_FamilyAffair_a == 30). That way, the player has freedom to decide whether to follow Drerayn’s or Ulyne’s route at any point, possibly even after they grab Revos and start escorting him to Shipal-Sharai.
  • You could also split the journal entries even more, and, for example, have a separate quest ID for Ulyne's route and Drerayn's route. This could possibly help to make the filtering easier, but I'm not sure if that's actually necessary in this case, though.

Just a couple of other minor issues I noticed:

• “poisoned by family” is a really unwieldy topic since it’s just very awkward to fit in most sentences. I’d replace it with “was poisoned”
• Default disposition of 0 causes issues in Ravos’ dialogue. When you cure him and ask him about Ulyne, he refuses to tell you about her even though he sends you after her. Just set it to the default of 50 IMO.
• I noticed a lot of missing commas. Not sure if you’re using some sort of spell checker, but it should cover most of them
• A bit ironically, your scripts contain a lot of commas - you should remove all of those since they just cause random issues 😀
• Would be nice if you could tell Ravos to wait and follow you (the travel together topic)

Please let me know on Discord if you have any questions, I'll be happy to help you :)