Vayatir's Quest Showcase

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Vayatir's picture
Vayatir
Quest Developer
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1 year 8 months ago

Hello, I am submitting a showcase for quest development.

I did my showcase using the claim: Soul Inheritor.

Feedback appreciated! Especially with scripting because I've definitely messed something up.

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Binary Data TR_m4_And_Soul Showcase.ESP12.49 KB2023-01-06 02:12
pralec's picture
pralec
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(Tested in Vanilla + MCP + MGEXE)

Thanks for your showcase! Nice initial work. There are some things still that need fixing.

Please take a look at the style guide here: https://wiki.project-tamriel.com/wiki/Writing_and_Dialogue_Guidelines

Notes:

  • TR_m4_NPC_AlmereScript,
    • the section which moves Almere will not work as you intend. Use DaysPassed instead of Day (as DaysPassed only goes up).
    • The localdaysPassed variable will be set to 1 as soon as the quest is completed, causing Almere to disappear.
    • He will disappear within sight of the player as well, which is a no-no.
    • He doesn't need to have T_Local_NoLore
    • The formatting is incorrect for the if-statements. Make sure there is a space on either side of an operator. The equals operator needs two equals signs (==).
       
  • TR_m7_Ondres_Script
    • Doesn't work. Check the condition on the if-statement, it's formatted incorrectly.
    • Even so, this script isn't necessary. Try to find a way to give the quest the same structure without using a script on Ondres.
       
  • Dialogue
    • Make the initial quest dialogue more concise. It doesn't need to use two continues.
    • There is a lot of background in the claim but not all of it needs to or should go in the quest topic. The questgiver can give more information at the completion of the quest, or might offer details in unique background or my trade entries.
    • You use a single hyphen in one place ("-") for a dialogue break. Vanilla standard is to use double hyphens ("--")
    • All miscs should give the player the option to turn down the quest after hearing the offer.
    • Generally, the dialogue is well-written in TES3-consistent style
       
  • Dialogue Results
    • Get rid of commas. Inconsistent usage can break commands.
    • The one where the player returns the soul gem is formatted incorrectly and won't work. Text comes before choice number, and the text needs to be in quotes.
    • The results text which adds the soul gem into Almere's inventory is also formatted incorrectly
       
  • Journal
    • Make sure the journal topic "errand to Mirba" is included in the first journal entry. This makes it easier for the player to access important dialogue.

Did you test your work in-game before submitting for review? The version you uploaded doesn't work as intended for me.

The quest could also be structured a little better. Have Almere ask for the soul gem in the topic as soon as the quest is given, with the yes option gated behind the player having the gem (see the Firewatch TG quests for an example of how this is done). Put the dialogue where he advises to buy a scroll of soul trap behind the "No" option, unless the player has killed Ondres' ghost, in which case have Almere attack.

To account for Ondres being dead before the quest starts, have a dialogue option for the player in the quest intro, with the option to hand over the soul gem as well if they've already acquired it.

Vayatir's picture
Vayatir
Quest Developer
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1 year 8 months ago

Just felt I should update here to say I am still working on this, but I've been pretty ill this past week so progress has stalled.

Denis418's picture
Denis418
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Get well soon!

There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear,
because fear has to do with punishment. 
The one who fears is not made perfect in love. 1 John 4:18

Vayatir's picture
Vayatir
Quest Developer
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1 year 8 months ago

Hello!

I have returned with an update. I have gone through pralec's feedback and tried to incorporate it to the best of my ability. I have rejigged the dialogue trees of the quest to make them more concise, fixed the problems with the dialogue results, and generally the quest should work at a basic level (I went through and tested almost every path I can think of and it all seems to work fine on my end at least!)

What I am struggling with though is the DaysPassed script and getting Almere to correctly disappear. I can't seem to make it work as requested. Are there any examples elsewhere in TR to look at? Scripting is definitely the most daunting thing for me, and I have tried using the Scripting Guide for Dummies but I am finding this particular aspect a struggle.

I've uploaded all of the changes I've made so far below.

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Binary Data TR_m4_And_Soul Showcase.ESP12.71 KB2023-02-04 17:33
pralec's picture
pralec
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Nice work on updating the quest, it is much improved. Notes below:

Refusing the quest shouldn't trigger a journal update. The point of being able to refuse a quest is to keep your quest list from getting cluttered. If you want Almere to have something different to say after his first request, you can define a variable in his script and then set it in dialogue for his first offer, then filter the dialogue for his second offer to that variable:

  • short control in Almere's script
  • set control to 1 in the No response to his first dialogue entry
  • Change the dialogue entry which is currently filtered to Journal >= 5 to control == 1

You've got a triple-dash ("---") in the dialogue entry where Almere attacks the player.

Generally the dialogue is very good, and captures the character well. There are places where it feels a little untidy to me, though. Now that the bones are there, go through the dialogue with an editor's eye and tighten it up a bit. Usual writing advice applies: cut out redundant and unnecessary words.

Also maybe give a little dialogue to the bartender in Hlaalu Ferry so they can give you more specific directions to Mirba.

As for the script which makes him leave, take a look at this page: https://www.tamriel-rebuilt.org/content/script-library

It looks like you made some wild edits to the Council Club interior. Some doors and stools were moved - was this intentional? If not, you'll need to clean out the Council Club cell with TESAME and then add Almere back in without touching any of the other stuff in the int.

This is very close to being mergeable. Thank you for your work on it.

Vayatir's picture
Vayatir
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Feb was a busy month for me, will have another (hopefully final!) update sometime in the next week.

Vayatir's picture
Vayatir
Quest Developer
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Once more with feeling.

I think everything is right except for one thing. I can make Almere disappear after 24 hours, but he'll do it when the player is in the same cell. So I have messed something up with the

elseif ( CellChanged )

because it's not being recognized. The script is a bit of a mess because I tried combining the "Wait 24 hours to trigger something" and "Make an NPC leave" scripts in the Script Library.

I think that's the only thing remaining that needs fixing though! I trimmed the dialogue down a bit and cut out some unnecessary sentences, did some polishing elsewhere, etc.

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Binary Data TR_m4_And_Soul Showcase.ESP13.72 KB2023-03-09 10:26
Vayatir's picture
Vayatir
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1 year 8 months ago

Thanks to pralec taking the time to explain this to me and helping with the script, I can say that this is now hopefully complete!

 

 

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Binary Data TR_m4_And_Soul Showcase.ESP13.82 KB2023-03-20 05:47
pralec's picture
pralec
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Hey Vayatir, thanks for this update!

There's script errors when you hand in the quest. The source is the results box. You've got additem->soulgem (I hope you can see why this is wrong - the arrow -> is used when you're getting a ref on the left of the arrow to do the command on the right of the arrow). You use it correctly earlier in the same box, so I think you understand how it works. Also there's a dialogue entry that won't be seen: "Mirba is located southeast of the Hlaalu Ferry..." because of filtering. It's not a necessary line, and you added the information contained within to the response to the player taking the quest. This line can just be deleted.

But these are small errors, and the script works well, so I think we can promote you. Fix those errors, claim the quest when you have permissions, and then upload your quest and mark it ready for review.